God's test on life

Things right now ...

2010-07-29T15:13:00.000+02:00

is starting to get just a little bit TOO much to handle.

Feels like I'm sinking deeper and deeper. I have so much to deal with right now. My mom being so ill, my son's well-being (very close to my mom), my own well-being, my current job.

WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I sure would like to see that rainbow soon ... I hope and pray I'm strong enough to pull through.
This morning I woke up in such a good mood, thinking to myself that there is finally light at the end of the tunnel as my mom was up already and requested a cup of tea = recovery. Boy, was I wrong, as she is so sick again.

I pray that this nightmare will soon be over as I'm so emotionally and physically drained, feel like climbing in a hole never to return :(

Its been a while

2010-06-17T10:18:00.002+02:00

and I wont bore u any further just wanted to share that I'm doing the 40 day love dare and u can follow me on

http://lifeasamarriedwoman-kim.blogspot.com/

hope to see u there ...

mwahugs

Here I am again

2010-02-08T16:01:00.002+02:00

Well its been ages since I lost blogged, but I have been quite busy at work and in life that I'm barely touching ground....

I'm busy planning mom's 60th birthday party, my first Cocktail party (kudos to me), and then D is turning 10 in August and I would love to have something for him as well.

I'm also running around in the office like a headless chicken doing my work, our temp/learner's that has left and our Field controllers work. I have to be honest and say I'm not nearly getting all work done each day, but hey I'm trying my best.

And then, I've also turned into this health fanatic as I have started 'dieting' (see it more as a lifestyle change) again and have lost 3kg thus far and have also been making more use of my VA contract as I paid it in DEC and never even went once!LOL - am so bad, so putting everything to use....

I've found a new hobby - Mosaic - I absolutely love it and will post some pics as soon as my sexy DH decides to spoil me and buy me a new camera, *nudge nudge, wink wink*, and then I am still doing scrapbooking and need to seriously work more on D's room.

Apart from all of this our TTC plans is on hold and will resume in April again, although I'm not preventing. I've made an appointment with Dr Dasoo who is a gynea/FS, he practises at Bio-Art and at Garden City, for the 8th of April and I am excited, yet scared to see him.

I so want to start my own company planning events and wedding although I'm not to clued up on where to start, but watch this space. Very soon you will hear from me.

D has been so happy to be back at school as they are exchanging periods now and writing in pen so this is like super cool for him. This past weekend he had a project at school on masks and had to actually make one. We had so much fun and the scrapbook gemstones and sequins came in quite handy.

R is also excited for the 8th of April as am I and we are still so inlove and go on date nights at least twice a month.

Well that is it for now!

Be Blessed

2009-12-14T09:16:00.002+02:00

All the days of my life are important and yet today is the only day I can claim as mine,

Yesterday is in the tomb, tomorrow is in the womb, today is really all what I have,

Today is my gift, my present to be celebrated, today is my day and I will celebrate its benefits,

Today I will be better than I was yesterday; today I will love myself to the fullest,

Yesterday’s mercies are gone but today’s were renewed this morning,

I will not be held back by my failures of yesterday, for today I have new strength and wisdom

Yesterday, I might have done only ten push-ups, but today I am equipped to do more

This is the day that the Lord has made; s I will rejoice and be glad in it

Today is the day of success; I will live this day as if it is my last

Why should I throw “now” after “maybe?”

The sun can only rise once this morning, I can’t place tomorrow’s gold in today’s purse

I will not pay interest on the debt I have not incurred

I lift my arms with praise for the priceless gift of a new day

I will maintain an attitude of gratitude in order to turn my tragedies into strategies

I have been allowed to live this extra day because there is something extra I have to do

Is this my day to excel? Is this another opportunity for me to become the person I was designed to be?

Action will be my weapon to destroy procrastination

Faith will be my shield to block the fiery darts of doubt

Love will be my sword to dismember fear

If I lift up a friend in need today, then I shall give praise to the giver of days

One thing I do know; Today is my day!

To my friends and family ...

2009-12-09T09:14:00.003+02:00

BEFORE YOU GUYS GO ON LEAVE,

I JUST WANT TO WISH YOU ALL THE BEST FOR 2010,

Make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the

best in what you do.

Take care of yourself. …don't wait for someone to take

care of you.

You light up your life. You drive yourself to your

destination.

No one completes you - except YOU.

There will be mistakes along the way………..but they will also be lessons…………………and u will never make the right choices without making the wrongs ones 1^st.

So remember to love, laugh and live completely with no regret…………..bcoz true friends will always be there no matter what………………and in the end You alone determine your own happiness.

Have a blessed Christmas and an awesome new year!!!!! And May God be with you each step of the way.

With all my love and warm wishes

Happy holidays!!!!!!!!!!

Am I being selfish?

2009-12-02T15:48:00.002+02:00

Randy has to work overtime tonight and tomorrow ... no big deal ...

BUT, he was also told that next year they will be working overtime even more and that there will be times when they have to go away to CT or DBN to go and work there ...

I'm so sad and angry at this news ... sure I want Randy to grow and I want him to be successful ... but, I also want a baby and we have decided to go the FS route next year ... this new news means that we will have to put our TTC journey on hold again ... because

* he will be away or working overtime which means he will be tired most of the time
* because of their workload, he will not be able to make appointments when we do go see an FS
* he wants to study next year and has already enrolled which means his time for me and us will be even less than anticipated ...

I'm so dismayed at this news and am even crying while I'm typing this ...

I really do want him to succeed in life and I know we have our whole life together, but I really thought 2010 will be our year that we get blessed and extend our family ...

It's our anniversary

2009-11-30T09:46:00.003+02:00

Well today is our 2^nd anniversary and I’m so happy to have made it thus far. I remember last year we were separated and I always thought after not spending our first year together that the rest would also be so lonely and sad.

But, I was wrong.

On Friday night my DH decided to spoil me. Let me first tell you that my DH is not into chick flicks and would rather settle for an action packed movie before going for something girly, but Friday he decided to take me to see New Moon. I was in cloud nine, when he suggested we go see it. I even asked him if he was sure that he wanted to go and he said “I have to take you, you love this movie” – music to my ears.

SO on Friday, I was excited the whole day, not even my toothache could put me off from seeing this movie. The movie everyone had been waiting for …

Off we went to see the movie, when we got there we were 1^st in line … the movie was supposed to start at 8.15pm, but started at 8.40pm … we bought our tickets at 7pm and decided to do window shopping while waiting for 8pm … we then made our way to the popcorn stand and when we got there it was so full … I never knew that so many people were actually following the Twilight series … well I knew lots of women loved Edward and probably wished that he or their better half would have so much passion over them as he had over Bella … I know I did and I even mentioned it to Randall … LOL … no comment

Anyhoo, all I can say is that I enjoyed our anniversary celebration and that I’m looking forth to many more to come …

To the love of my life:

I love you now, tomorrow and always and I’m very happy to be spending my life with you - such a remarkable man.

Christmas fever ...

2009-11-24T12:25:00.002+02:00

Well seems like everyone is being infected with Christmas ... everywhere you go people are shopping and laughing and just enjoying the season ...

Most people are shopping for gifts, for clothes, for trees and for yummy treats ...

The Christmas fever is starting to rub off me now that we drew names at work and have to buy and exchange gifts on the 22 Dec ... we will be having a Christmas Breakfast, despite having our Christmas function this past weekend ... which we really enjoyed ...

I've got so much to do still ... but I will get it all done ...

I need to:
*buy Varney's gift
*buy Randy's gift
*buy mom's gift
*buy my boss a gift ... I drew his name ...
*buy yummy treats for the kids ....

At least the other things have been taken care of ...

That's it for now ...

Word for today

2009-11-18T09:10:00.002+02:00

Verse: 1 Samuel 30:6

But David encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord his God.

- In the midst of difficult times, David believed in His God.
- You and I can do the same.
- We can remind ourselves of God's goodness and be encouraged.
- Whatever happens, remember God is there and He will strengthen you.

PRAYER: Lord, I receive Your strength right now. I will remind myself of Your goodness to me, no matter what happens. Amen.

Have a great day.

A blog is a blog is a blog

2009-11-16T15:57:00.001+02:00

I’ve always thought of a blog as a recipe … you know the stork ad where the lady says something along the lines of blogs … LOL

I really always thought that it must be recipes being shared or a secret recipe… that was until I discovered OPM where some of the ladies had blogs … I remember that Lilian was the first one to introduce us to the world of blogging … I was still scared of starting my own blog and to tell you the truth I was clueless as to where to start …

Somehow I started getting the picture that a blog is an online diary, just that if you chose too, it could become public property … for a few days I just followed her blog and remember her blog as being busy (I guess we all start of that way, I also started posting up to 3 posts a day, however this has all changed). Then I discovered Natalie’s blog and was so enticed with her blog that sometimes if she didn’t post I would get so upset … LOL following blogs used to be my daily bread until I decided to start my own one ..

At first I was confused and so scared to post anything on my blog … in fact I did not know where to start or what to base my blog on … then it hit me maybe I should blog about my life … about anything or everything … after all that is what a blog was used for right?

We started exchanging blog addresses and soon I started getting followers to my blog and I started following everyone else’s blog … it was awesome reading up on what everyone has gotten up to … it still is, although sometimes I’m too busy to follow anyone’s blog …

The gadgets we could add to our blogs was just as great … I felt like a kid in a candy shop and then I started getting addicted to creating a blog that today I have 5 blogs that I manage …

Ok so the other ones might not be open to the public, but watch this space soon it will be, especially since I can just mail my blogs, which means life or posting would be much more easier …

Why or how did you start a blog?

Testing, testing ... 123

2009-11-16T08:45:00.002+02:00

Ok so I have discovered email in a whole other way and would like to test it … I am emailing my blog and would just like to see if it actually does post. This will make life so much easier … SO, here goes ….

ZZZZZZzzzzzzz

2009-11-12T13:05:00.003+02:00

I have been feeling so tired for the last week, by noon I cant even concentrate or keep my eyes open.

I think its got something to do with the fact that 1. I either go to bed to early ... (I normally get into bed by 9, but this past week I've been going to bed at 8 or 8.30pm, which is not so much earlier and I wake at 6) or 2. the fact that I haven't been going to gym this week.

My (.)(.) are also very EINA, especially when I lay on them. I don't think I will get a BFP this month and am not stressing too much about it, that is something I will start worrying about next year.

I cant wait for Christmas to come. I'm so in a hurry for it ... LOL and next week we will be having our year end function. We going bowling and then grabbing a bite at Spur.

Well, Varney is starting with his tantrum throwing so I will update in his blog.
Randy is still ok just stressing about his studies for next year.

And that is it ...

Finally its the weekend babe!!!

2009-11-06T15:44:00.002+02:00

Well another week has gone by, which means we getting closer to Christmas.

I attended a workshop, on the job I do, yesterday and today and I am kapoet after all the input we had to give ...

I'm so happy its finally weekend, although its going to be a busy one ... they all have been for the last couple of months. Tomorrow I have to go shopping with my SIL and then get home and help Randy paint. So I'm hoping that Sunday will be nice and quiet.

Anyways, I think I'm in the 2WW - LOL, cause I had O pains on Wednesday evening ... my right ovary was throbbing and then yesterday I had ALOT of EWCM and off course we BD'ed ... I didn't wanna tell Randy that it might be O taking place, cause I just felt that I might be adding pressure ... hehehe ...

So maybe I will update with a BFP soon ...

PS: my ticker on OPM says I am still going to O, so will continue BD every 2nd day ...

Enjoy your weekend and keep it safe!!!

Kim

Blogland

2009-11-03T15:53:00.002+02:00

I have noticed that blogland has been very busy lately ... I have been reading some of my fellow bloggers blogs, but have not been able to comment on the posts ...

Lately work has been so busy ... we heading towards the silly season ... which means our ATM's will be busy until the 24th Dec and then again on 31 Dec and then everyone is BROKE and the ATM's quiet down again ...

Christmas is just around the corner ... just 7w3d to go until Christmas ... and truthfully I haven't even bought a single gift and am stressing my a$$ off here ... I know now isnt the time to think of gifts as everybody is cash strapped, but at least gifts for the special people in my life ...

Our 2nd anniversary is also coming up and we decided we not going to make a fuss about it ... we just going out for a romantic evening, but we are NOT buying gifts for each other.

I am making progress on my diet having fallen off the wagon and am back at 81kg's and so proud, but what I'm even more proud is I have eaten a choccie in 3 weeks and last night when I was offered I declined. YAY to me!!!!!!!

Varney has developed a phobia, if I can call it that, for his dad. I dont know why but it has been a month since he has gone to his dad and it makes me feel bad, cause it probably looks like I'm keeping him from them.

On the TTC front, we are just going with the flow and leaving it up to God. If it happens we will be happy, if not we will try some day again. Reason, Randy is going to study as of next year and I'm thinking of doing a mosaic course. My manager wants me to do a study programme within the company, so I'm also considering it.

We have not done any more DIY work as we have been very busy, but will start this weekend again.

Well, I think this is it ... will update again ...

lots of huggies and lovies

Kim

AF oh AF!!!!!!!!

2009-10-22T15:42:00.002+02:00

So the witch finally decided to make a grand entrance last night. Making my cycle 38 days long.

I am thinking of writing her a letter to notify her that she is not welcome anymore and that I wont be needing her services any longer - LOL.

In a way I'm happy to have AF, takes all the 'what ifs?' from my mind.

Will see what happens this month?!

Thanks ladies for always being here for me, I would probably be insane by now if it were not for you!!!!!!!!!

Mwah!!!

Kim
xoxoxo

I think my body has forgotten how to make babies ...

2009-10-20T12:59:00.002+02:00

This is my only conclusion I have now around my fertility ... that my body has forgotten how to make babies.

I mean its been almost ten years since I had a baby/conceived. So, somewhere along the line my body must have forgotten how to make a baby.

I am so tired of this TTC hell. I'm at breaking point. I need help urgently.

Here I was experiencing all these 'pseudo' symptoms, being late, the fatigue, the tender breast, the darkening areolas, the twinges ... you name it ... I had it. And still my test is a BFN!!!!!!!

Two tests later, two negative tests later I started spotting and now I'm just waiting for the witch to make a grand entrance.

I'm starting to get scared of the fact that I might never have a baby again and what scares me more is what it would do to my marriage. I don't know if we will be strong enough to make it through and this scares me so much that I often find myself crying myself to sleep.

Randy, or anyone for that matter, doesn't know how I am feeling as I don't openly talk about my 'problems'. I'm just tired of feeling so useless and insecure.

I don't know what my next step might be towards getting a baby ... I really don't know!

31 months of trying is enough!!!!!

Starting over...

2009-10-05T12:45:00.002+02:00

Well today is the day that I start from scratch with my diet. I decided I'm going to be very strict on myself and drink lots of water again.

I've been sucking at drinking water for the last 2 weeks. I was just drinking appletiser and I think it affected my kidneys or bladder. I drank citro-soda to 'flush out' my system and I'm feeling better already. I also decided to incorporate my eating plan and to make 'going to gym' part of my daily activities.

For the next four weeks I'm going to be very strict on myself as we are attending a wedding on the 31st and I just have to look good.

My eating plan for today is as follows:

B: 3 provitas with peanut butter and 1 cup of tea
S: LF yoghurt
L: roti with chicken fillet, lettuce, tomato and cheese
S: LF yoghurt
D: spaghetti and mince

Water: 1.5 litres

Exercise: 30 minutes (treadmill), 30 minutes (spinning)

With love
Kim
xoxoxo

OUR DIY HOME PROJECT (part 1)

2009-10-01T11:27:00.014+02:00

Now you know what I get up to on weekends ... LOL

can you see the 2 different colours?

yes, its pink and grey ...

the grey wall with the peach painting

the pink wall ... thinking of getting silver frames with some picture on this wall

the grey wall ... we thinking of moving the TV unit to this side of the lounge

we will be taking out these cupboards to make the kitchen and lounge open plan ... but for now the yellow walls match the cupboards ...

cupboards will be put in against this wall

just wanted to show you how nice the yellow goes with white ... LOL

ok ... mom's bedroom ... we putting in a new curtain rail this weekend ...

Varney's bedroom and ceiling ... still thinking of a border????

Varney's bed ... I want to put up white wooden blocks spelling out his name on this wall ...

Ok, all that needs to be done is our bedroom and the bathroom and then I will start accesorising ...

PS: part 2 will follow soon ...

Kim

Just another chapter in my life ...

2009-09-23T15:08:00.002+02:00

So, I decided to go back onto my pill ... WHAT A DISASTER that turned out to be ... I went onto the pill on CD1 and on CD15 AF came waltzing back into my life like the super b!@tch she is ...

I decided to continue with the pill to see if the witch would go away and I can sadly say she is still here ... note today is CD25 so which means 6 days of AF, 9 days of her leaving and then 10 days of her again ...

So I called my doc who then said that the BCP is too strong for me and that I should stop drinking it and come and see him ... well I drank my last pill on Monday and I can see she is busy packing her bags to leave me ... hopefully ALONE ... LOL

Anyhow my friend has asked me to do a HPT cause she is convinced that I am preggies but I'm not ... so I'm skipping it ...

oh and then I am PISSED at my one friend who had an abortion and then she still has the audacity to say "I had to do what I had to do, I hope u not mad" ... NO, I'm not mad ... I'm FURIOUS ... how can she just decide a healthy unborn's fate ... someone that cannot even make decisions for themselves ... if u don't want a baby keep your legs closed ... I mean you have got 2 kids already and you know where babies come from!!!!!!!!!! OK, this was just me venting.

On a lighter note ... all seems to be going well, beside AF ... Randy is happy, my angel (Varney) is happy and healthy and everything just seems to be falling into place ...

Enjoy your day off tomorrow.

Kim
xoxoxo

Long time no post ...

2009-09-10T15:44:00.000+02:00

Well I have to admit I have been VERY sluggish with updating my blog ... I have just been so busy ...

after my uncle's funeral I was booked off sick with flu and when I got back we were short staffed so been very hectic on my side ...

Besides, being back at work I have kicked my diet to the curb again and I feel so bad for doing that ... about 5% of me blames my Randy, 10% of me blames my flu and 20% of me blames myself ... but hey I still feel great ...

and I cant complain about the 5% cause right now I'm being treated like a queen ... getting flowers, and teddy's, and cakes, and romantic lunches and suppers ... so hey a girl really cant complain about that ...

to my fellow bloggers ... ASKIES for not following your blogs for the last 2 weeks ... I am definitely going to catch up tomorrow ...

speaking of tomorrow ... seeing that I was sick last week we only having our Spring braai tomorrow ... so nice of my boss to wait until I'm back at work and then having it ...

Ok, you probably want to hear what we have been up to so here goes ...

Randy: loving and still so handsome and sexy ... LOL ... ok still the King in my life and still spoiling me rotten ...
Varney: still so cute and growing at such a rapid pace ... oh BTW ... watch out on his blog as I update on his relationship with his dad ... seems like I'm losing my son ... he sleeps over at his dad's every weekend ... I'm so jealous, but part of me doesnt want to restrict him too much ... his rooom is nearly done so will post some pictures as well ...
Me: doing well ... still have a runny nose and irritating cough but still on 80kg's ... so happy that I didnt pick up ... oh ja and I'm on the pill for this month and next month ... but you probably saw on my ticker ...

Mom, grandma and aunt seems to be coming to terms with the loss of my uncle, I'm really glad all the prayers worked ...

Well until I write again ...

Cheerio and lots of love
Kim
xoxoxo

Just a note ...

2009-08-25T10:51:00.002+02:00

to update you all on the happenings in my life ...

This past weekend we lost my uncle (mom's brother). He was like a dad to us when mom and dad split, so all of us are taking it very hard, especially mom and grandma.

He lost his wife about 4 years ago and now it was his turn to go. It was so sudden, despite the fact that he was in hospital, but that was due to the fact that his leg was amputated on Thursday. He was still doing well on Friday when we went to visit him and he looked so handsome and at peace and he still made us laugh at his jokes and funny comments. He passed away on Saturday and it was horrible seeing my mom crying so much, that she couldn't even speak or breath properly.

Randall, is the best! He is so caring and so supportive during our time of grief. He is so concerned about mom and even took us out for the day on Sunday to take our minds off things.

We finally tiled the 2 bedrooms on Saturday, so it just our bedroom that needs to be tiled and then we have to paint and then we move to the bathroom. This DIY project of ours is so much fun and Varney is enjoying it himself.

He is also doing so much better and he was also in tears, but I think it was mainly because he saw my mom cry so much.

This coming weekend is the funeral, so I will most probably update after the funeral.

To all the special OPM angels:

THANKS FOR THE KIND WORDS AND PRAYERS. IT IS HIGHLY APPRECIATED.

Lots of love
Kim
xoxoxo

Today ...

2009-08-19T15:38:00.002+02:00

we bid farewell to my friend's baby girl born prematurely at 24 weeks ... she only lived for 14days before God fetched her ...

I know he has greater plans for her and that he needed more angels, but it was very sad ... it felt as if I had lost a baby ...

my friend and her family were in tears as they passed little K's coffin ... she looked like an angel, all dressed in white and so peaceful ...

I know I have not walked the road of a miscarriage or a prem baby or a stillborn, but my heart broke for her ...

That is why I wanted to let all my Internet buddies know that I take my hat off to you ladies ... D, Eve, Mandy, Mandri, Bel, Lilian, Tammi, Lilly, Ilze, Nix, etc. you ladies are really strong and I respect you for going through your journey and still being the kind-hearted and loving ladies that you are ... still giving me support and advice ... still being what you have always been - YOURSELF!!!

Stay as sweet as you are ...

Love you lots
Kim

This weekend

2009-08-14T13:51:00.002+02:00

is gonna be HUGE fun ...

Tonight we going to be home and play board games the whole night ...
Tomorrow it is down to painting again and if there is time, to go look for the wall stickers
Sunday we going to church and then the afternoon we going out for ice-cream ...

I'm going to be taking pictures of our 'diy' project ...

I went to look for wall stickers at Discount Cash and Carry, but unfortunately they dont have ...

Uhm, what else ... *think, think, think* oh ja, I'm definitely doing my Hip Hop Abs this weekend and will rest on Sunday and uhm ... sjoe I cant remember ... old age I tell ya

Anyways, I hope each and everyone enjoy your weekend with your families ...

Until Monday ...

Mwah

An award

2009-08-11T15:15:00.003+02:00

Thanks Karien for making my day and giving me an award for my blog.

I really appreciate it ... mwah

The rules of the "One Lovely Blog Award" are: Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

I am now passing this on to my fellow bloggers:

Martie at So my life goes on

Nikki at So, this is life

Mandy-Leigh at Where's my baby

Melanie at Life happened

Tammi at Our dream come true

Eve at My TTC life

Twinkles at The whole 9 yards

Irene at Belly perspective

Monzelle at Joshua Connor de Villiers

Mandri at POAS addict

Natalie at Almost there

Kandis at Life and stuff

Bel at The ups and downs

Rentia at Supermom

Lilian at The road to victory

Sometimes honesty is the best policy ...

2009-08-07T10:41:00.002+02:00

SO, some of you guys have noticed that I haven't been blogging and instead that the last 2 posts on my blog has been very emotional posts from Randall ...

Well, I'm the kind of person who doesn't like talking and opening up when I've got problems. Somehow everything and everyone that surrounds me is just so perfect that I often compare my life to theirs.

Anyways, I've once again got marriage problems and I'm tired of hiding it and bottling up that I just feel this urge to open up and at least blog about it. I know no one is perfect and sometimes, ok most of the time I expect too much from my marriage and from people in general and when I don't get it, I explode and block you out of my life. That is just the kind of person I am.

I admit that I do have a problem, although it might not be a physical problem it is an emotional one. I am aware that I have been carrying around this problem for more than a year now. I have alot of emotional baggage and that is why I trust no one. I don't believe anything you might tell me, because I believe that everyone is out to hurt me and break me down.

When I went on course a few months back, we did a questionnaire regarding your social circle, family, etc. and I had the lowest scores, because I'm still clinging to the past. I am STILL living in the past. All the heartache, all the scars, all the tears are packed into this bag that I am walking and carrying around.

I listen tentatively to other people complaining and hey, I'll even advice you, but I wont practice what I preach and this is my downfall. I picture myself happy, but I'm too scared to open up, let go and grab the happiness I picture. I would rather just say or think about how happy other people are, but I will never ever go out and live that happiness.

This is ruining alot in my life ... my friendships, my relationships with my family, my relationship with my son and EVEN my marriage. I'm afraid to take risks because of this. I think I have endured and seen too much heartache that I just crawl back into my shell and wait for things to get better instead of making things better.

Another one of my downfalls, I will always put other people's happiness before my own. I will never ever put myself first, no matter how much I deserve it, I cant do it.

I attract negativity, because I am always setting myself up for the day that I get hurt or disappointed. I even picture my actions and even revise my wording for that face-to-face interaction we will have when the line gets crossed.

I know I need help seriously and blaming is out and choices are in, because I choose to be unhappy and I chose this situation. I know I can do something about this and admitting to my problem is the first step I needed to take.

I want to make the best out of everything and I can only do this with a strong support structure. Someone or everyone keeping me on my toes. I want every aspect in my life to be a 10/10 situation: my marriage, my life, my relationship with my son, my relationship with my family, my friendships (cyberly and in reality) and most importantly my relationship with God.

I want to move forth and let go and I want to, no I WILL start as of today.

Until I write again ...
Kim

2009-07-31T08:53:00.002+02:00

Now I was supposed to be a man about it.
Shoulda never left your side.No way, no how.
Put too many years in this relationship.And it's not that serious for us to split.
Now I admit sometimes I make mistakes.But still I appreciate the love we make.
Now Kim please can we work this out.
Now I might say you can walk(But I don't mean it).
And I may tell you we're through(But I don't mean it, no, no).
Now I was supposed to be more understanding.Instead of tryin to be so damn demandin.
Kim I'm willing to drop my ego.And do the things I should have done and more.
See I know that I can be a better man .
Kim all you gotta do is take my hand.Promise this time,I'm goin all the way.
And show you all the reasons why you should stay.
See I never meant to break you down and make you cry.
Oh please Kim please turn back around don't you say goodbye.
Sometimes I know that I can take it Just a little bit too far,but my heart is good.
So Kim you don't have to worry.You're gonna see a change.Kim you know I love you.Even though I may not say it.

How could i??

2009-07-30T15:26:00.003+02:00

How could i let things get so far.

How could i loose the only part of my life that made sense.

How could i hurt the only person who truly loved me.

How could i loose a love so precious.

How could I?

My whole life i've been looking for her.

My whole life i've been dreaming of her.

My whole life i've wanted to know who this angel will be...

My whole life i've wanted to know who's heart i will have.

and who will have mine.

Finally i could put a face on this angel.

i could see who is gonna take care of my heart.

i could see who was gonna take care of my love.

i could see who's heart i finally

was gonna have to protect.

why did i break this trust.

Why did i break this persons heart.

Why did i do what i did.

How could i loose my angel.

How could i loose my angels heart.

How could i loose my angels trust.

How could i loose her.

Why......

TGIF ... whoop whoop

2009-07-24T08:25:00.007+02:00

Well today I feel better, although I have this headache. Nothing new on my side ....

anyways here is menu for today:

B: DF and a cup of tea

S: cup of soup

L: chicken and salad

S: Low GI popcorn

D: dunno ... but will be a healthy choice

Water: 2ltrs

I am going to really stick to my diet this weekend then next week I can have a break as it is my birthday and I'll eat what I want to ...

The gym called me yesterday, seems like I will start on Monday and they gonna give me a tour. Randy is going to get a backpack with goodies for referring me. I will have to go to the shops to buy me sportsbra's because I dont have any ... otherwise its gonna be a big problem ...

Tomorrow D's school has a parents day where we get to view to schoolbooks and chat to the teacher about his progress, etc. We are also going to get his report card and have decided that if he has improved we will take him out for the day to a movie and a bite to eat.

I'm also going to spend the afternoon with D so will take a picture of her preggy belly ... LOL

On Sunday we just going to chill and watch some movies ... we bought quite a few movies ... so it is something worth looking forward to ...

Anyways I hope everyone has a splendid weekend!!!!!!!!

Lotsa love

Kim

xoxoxo

Today

2009-07-23T10:52:00.004+02:00

I feel so sad and despondent ... I don't know why ... and to top it off I lost a kg so I should really be very happy ...

I don't have much of a menu today:

B: 2 scrambled eggs, 1 slice cheese, cup of tea

S: DF

L: don't know yet ... didn't pack lunch

S: don't know

D: don't know ...

LND: vetkoek and mince

Water: 2ltrs

My motivation for today:

Infertility and obesity

Date updated: January 29, 2007

Hillary M. Wright, R.D., L.D.N

Content provided by Revolution Health Group

Almost every day, there are news updates on the intensifying obesity epidemic in the United States. Currently, about 65% of Americans are either overweight or obese — an increase of 25% over the last 30 years — and the numbers continue to climb.

Women with a body mass index greater than 25 are considered overweight, and those with a value above 30 are considered obese.Most people know that being overweight raises the risk of almost every major health problem, including cardiovascular disease, diabetes and some cancers. What hasn’t gotten as much attention is the fact that both obesity and being overweight can affect fertility as well.

Research has shown that a disproportionate number of women (about 40%) who seek infertility treatment are overweight or obese. A study involving more than 5,000 infertile women who were treated at an infertility clinic in Australia found that 23% of the subjects were considered overweight and 17%, obese. The results were published in the October 1995 issue of the journal Human Reproduction.Research also ties obesity to poorer outcomes in women who undergo in vitro fertilization (IVF).

For example, another study in the July 2005 issue of Human Reproduction tracked some 8,500 women who underwent IVF in the Netherlands and found that those who were overweight or obese had a significantly lower success rate of having a live birth as compared to normal-weight women. What’s the link?One common finding in obese women with fertility problems is a tendency towards abdominal obesity, or an “apple-shaped” body. Exactly how excess body fat affects fertility is not completely understood, but obesity is known to influence reproductive function in several ways:

* Obese women are more likely to menstruate irregularly or not at all. This is due to the presence of excess subcutaneous fat that produces large amounts of the estrogen hormone.
* Obese women are more likely to have problems with successful ovulation and a poorer response to fertility drugs.
* Obese women are at increased risk for miscarriage, both spontaneously and after infertility treatment.
* Obese women are also at higher risk of pregnancy-related complications such as gestational diabetes, hypertension and preeclampsia or toxemia, which poses a threat to both the mother and developing fetus.
* In addition, many obese infertile women suffer from a hormonal disorder called polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).

PCOS is a major cause of infertility and is thought to affect 5% to 10% of women of reproductive age. Many researchers believe that the underlying problem in PCOS is that although insulin levels are normal, there is insulin resistance, a primary cause of type 2 diabetes. This is worsened by excess weight. It impacts fertility because the insulin resistance causes elevated circulating insulin levels that result in hormonal imbalances in the ovaries. These hormonal imbalances can then interrupt the normal cycle of ovulation and make it difficult to conceive.

Maintaining normal reproductive function requires a complex balance of sex hormones. Being overweight can upset this balance — with or without PCOS — and contribute to infertility in several ways:

* Excess abdominal fat can increase production of androgens, which are male sex hormones that are normally present in small amounts in normal women. Their levels need to stay consistent for normal ovulation to occur. If androgen levels soar, ovulation may be disrupted and conception cannot occur
* Excess body fat can trigger imbalances of the hypothalamus and pituitary hormones in the brain that are needed for normal ovulation.
* Even without a full diagnosis of PCOS, an obese woman can still have insulin resistance that leads to increased levels of circulating insulin. With more insulin in circulation, the balance of sex hormones in the ovaries can be disrupted, interfering with the delicate reproductive hormonal balance needed to trigger ovulation and contributing to infertility.

Not just a female problem

According to a recent study from the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences (NIEHS) that involved more than 5,500 couples, men who are overweight or obese are also more likely to experience infertility than normal-weight men regardless of their age. The results were published in the September 2006 issue of Epidemiology.

An earlier study published in the May-June 2006 issue of the Journal of Andrology — the first study of male weight and couple fertility — suggested that male obesity can also cause hormone imbalances and might even lower a man’s sperm quality. Although more research is needed, findings from the NIEHS, a part of the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Md., suggest that every 20-pound increase in a man’s weight increases his risk of infertility by roughly 10%.

Rate your weight

In the past, doctors used weight charts to help determine whether a person was within a healthy weight range. Now they use a new method called body mass index, or BMI.

BMI is calculated using your weight and height and can help doctors determine whether someone might be carrying enough excess fat to be considered a health risk

For adults older than 20, BMI results are interpreted using standardized categories that are the same for both men and women:

BMI Weight Status
Below 18.5 Underweight
18.5 - 24.9 Normal
25.0 - 29.9 Overweight
30.0 and above Obese

While BMI is considered a good assessment tool for most people, some healthy individuals (for example, professional athletes) may rate as overweight because they have excess muscle contributing to their weight.

If your BMI puts you in the overweight or obese category and you’re having difficulty conceiving, you may want to talk to your doctor about whether excess weight could be a factor.

Lose weight, improve your fertility

The good news is that even modest amounts of weight loss can have a positive effect on fertility. “Weight loss of as little as 10% to 15% will enhance a woman’s chances of conceiving by normalizing sex hormone levels,” says weight researcher and reproductive endocrinologist David Ryley, M.D., of Boston IVF in Massachusetts.

So, for instance, a woman who weighs 200 pounds can increase her chances of conception by losing 20 to 30 pounds.

An important, added weight-loss bonus, according to Ryley, is that “obstetric complications such as pregnancy-induced hypertension and gestational diabetes will be reduced.”

However, a word of caution: Women who are too thin also have trouble getting pregnant. So the best approach is to maintain a healthy weight (i.e., one that is appropriate for your height and lifestyle).

Take action

Losing weight permanently happens in different ways for different people. Still, according to the Brown Medical School-based National Weight Control Registry, a database that chronicles the habits of more than 5,000 “successful losers” who’ve lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year, people who win the weight battle share some common habits:

* Most registry participants maintain a low-calorie, lower-fat diet by adding fruits and vegetables, restricting certain foods, counting calories or using different types of portion control plans. Many keep food journals.
* Participants rarely skip breakfast, and most eat small meals 4 to 5 times per day.
* Seventy-five percent of participants weigh themselves at least weekly. If the needle on the scale creeps up, they fine-tune their eating and exercise habits in response.
* Most participants accumulate close to an hour of exercise every day, with walking being the most common form of activity.
* Here are some simple steps you can take to get your own weight loss rolling in the right direction:
* Move, move, move. Both long periods of exercise and short bouts of activity accumulated over the day are effective for weight loss.
* Spread out your food intake. Extreme hunger can lead to rapid overeating that leaves you feeling “stuffed.” Eating smaller meals throughout the day can help you avoid big pangs of starvation — and the associated binging.
* Aim for 5 or more servings of fruits and vegetables every day. They’ll help you feel full without loading you down with calories. Add a fruit to breakfast, munch on raw vegetables and fruits as snacks and include salads or cooked veggies with other meals.
* Watch your portions. Aim for a “healthy plate” that’s about half noncarbohydrate types of vegetables and fresh fruits, with the remaining half split between lean proteins (lean meat, skinless poultry, seafood, tofu or beans) and whole grains (brown rice, whole wheat pasta or whole-grain bread).
* Be selective about what you’re eating. Don’t just eat something because it’s there — make conscious food choices. If you shift into “eating overdrive” under pressure, talk to an expert about stress management strategies that don’t involve food.

Stay positive

The thought of trying to lose weight while enduring the stress of infertility may seem overwhelming, but don’t lose hope. Even small lifestyle changes that result in modest weight loss may be enough to help you conceive — and experience a healthier pregnancy.

After all, your desire to have a baby may be just the motivation you need to develop healthier habits!

Kim

xoxoxo

Motivation

2009-07-22T10:22:00.005+02:00

Do u sometimes feel that you are alone in this race called dieting?

Do u feel like giving up?

Does it sometimes feel like you getting nowhere (weight-wise)?

Well girls, sometimes or most of the time I feel this way ... that is why I decided to post something motivational today ...

WEIGHT LOSS MOTIVATION

Motivation is one of the most important factors which determines how successful we are at what we do. It is the driving force that gives us the will to accomplish tasks and eventually succeed at reaching an ultimate goal. Motivation levels can vary each day depending on how we feel, or how we view certain experiences. For anyone to succeed at slimming motivation will be the most important part to work at, it will provide us with the determination to get up and exercise even if we don't feel up to it. Motivation also drives us to stick to the low fat selections and recipes required to keep our progress moving.
The strength of your motivation will determine how successful you are in your weight loss efforts as the more you progress and lose weight the more difficult it will be to lose more as the body is pushed past its natural set points. Many top conditioning coaching admit that its possible to gain amazing results when an individual's motivation is high, even if the training program is not "scientifically correct".

DEVELOPING WEIGHT LOSS MOTIVATION

Most dieters will have some degree of motivation as they have already decided to take action. The problem for many is keeping the levels high enough to prevent any relapse.
Work through some of the following ideas and see if these can increase your desire for success!

LEARN TO ACCEPT SELF:

The most common reason people lose interest in exercise / dieting is due to unrealistic goals. Some see the images in the media or television and this coveys the message of how we are supposed to look, adverts enforce these images with false promises like "you too can have a body like this!", and we believe it! When the desired goals aren't reached we're made to believe we have failed.
We need to put these images into prospective and realise that most of the population just do not have the genetic predisposition to look like the models in the magazines, plus most images are now adjusted by computers to look better than they actually are.
Learn to love yourself for who you are, not who you wish to be. Acknowledge that you need to improve your health or weight, but believe that you will do what you can to be the best you can possibly be. The constant pressure and stress of trying to turn yourself into someone you physically cannot be will stop, and it'll be an enormous weight off the shoulders, you'll be surprised at how good it will make you feel and how this can help drive your motivation to make realistic improvements. When we understand and appreciate our bodies, we are able to work with them, not against them!

FOCUS ON POSITIVES NOT NEGATIVES:

Many of us have a tendency to look at our bad points, however once you start to accept yourself it will be easier to focus on the positive side more. To make it easier try writing a list of all the good things in what you've done or what you like about your physical self. Practice running these positives through your mind regularly, it may take time but its surprising what you can believe if it is said enough times - remember the past believe that you could look like the models if you obtain the right diet!

if you don't reach a goal when you want, just focus on the fact that you will get there in time
remember how far you've got not how far you need to go
if you miss a workout one day don't worry just go back with more vigour to improve
remind yourself that a worthwhile pay-off lies ahead in an improved you
remember the exercise is improving your health and fitness and will help increase longevity
remember exercise has many psychological benefits including renewed confidence and self esteem
any type of action always drives motivation
To boost motivation some dieters need to development of a different "mind set". For some people hypnotherapy has work really well to help gain more control over the mind!

SET GOALS:

Setting goals has the advantage of focusing on what you intend to achieve. A goal acts as a form of mental contract with yourself and your degree of motivation will drive you to complete that contract. If the goal is too hard to achieve it can affect your success. The subconscious mind does not distinguish between big or little, it only knows success or failure. If you set a goal of four training sessions each week but only complete three then the mind sees this as a failure. For this reason you must set realistic and easily reachable goals. When you attain each goal it gives momentum to increase the level of motivation further.

Try these tips:
* write down your goals
* set easy goals often so you create a habit of success in the mind
* set measurable goals - I will lose 1 pound each week. This gives you something to go for
* tell friends and family about your goals for motivational support
* make any routine fun and exciting to help maintain interest
* try new challenging goals to stop your normal routine from becoming a chore
* reward your success on reaching a goal
* think positively, replace thoughts like "I can't" with "I can and I will"
* don't set goals that are too much too soon

This is my menu for today:

B: 1cup WW pronutro, 1 cup LF milk, 3 provitas, 500ml water.

8 o' clock: 1 cup of tea

Snack: LF yoghurt and a banana

Lunch: grilled chicken breast with boiled veggies (carrot, baby marrow, potato, broccolli)

Snack: DF

Supper: don't know yet ...

Water: aiming for 2 litres ...

Hope you enjoyed today's post!!!

PS: weighing in tomorrow

Kim

xoxoxo

Diet schmiet ...

2009-07-21T11:27:00.002+02:00

so I have started the diet fuel and I have to say it doesn't taste bad at all ... everyone was preparing me for this yucky disgusting taste ... LOL or maybe I'm just different ...

ok cool so my menu is as follows:

B: WW pronutro, LF milk, cup of tea and a naartjie
S: DF and a banana
L: don't know yet ... craving chicken and veggies
S: LF yoghurt and a naartjie
D: steamed fish, mixed veggies and a baked potato

take care ...

Kim
xoxoxo

I'm bad ...

2009-07-20T16:11:00.002+02:00

ok before I have a mental argument with myself ...

I'm bad cause I cheated this weekend starting on Friday ... Randy wanted KFC so we bought KFC for supper ... everything was going exceptionally well and then I gave in .. just like that ...without even blinking ...

so I decided I really need to get my mind and body into shape and was considering using GI Lean products, but then I decided on Herbalife, but I eventually opted for USN dietfuel ...

I bought myself a 2kg bottle/tin and am going to start using it as of tomorrow ... 'if at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again" and its exactly what I'm going to do ...

Randy bought me a track pants and a running shoe so I might just join the gym sooner rather than later ... watch this space ...

Kim
xoxoxo

Before I forget

2009-07-16T12:40:00.002+02:00

I have been so consumed with work today, its not even funny ... I have my own work to do, I'm standing in for this dude that is on leave and then my manager still has the nerve to email me his work?

Anyhow, complaining wont help now would it ...

I weighed in this morning and I am 500g down ... YAY ... it sounds little, but look at it this way ... 500g is as big a brick of butter ... so it is actually alot ... yesterday was O day, but I was too tired to BD, besides its so cold ... LOL

OK my menu today has been kinda banged up, that is because I was so hard at work this morning:

Breakfast @ 10am:
1 egg
2 rashers bacon
mushrooms
grilled tomato
2 slices wholewheat toast
1 cup of tea

Snack @ 12pm:
2 slices watermelon
2 slices pineapple
500ml water

Skipping lunch ... still feel okayish

Snack @ 3 pm:
grapes
100ml lf yogurt
500ml water

Dinner:
Don't know but Randy mentioned something of tuna salad and potato wedges ...

Water unlimited ...

Mwah ...

Kim
xoxoxo

Craving ...

2009-07-15T11:34:00.003+02:00

cheese & onion samoosas ... mmm ... :-(

I CAN DO THIS!!!
I CAN STICK TO MY DIET!!!!

Ok ... my menu before I change my mind ... LOL ...

Breakfast:
1 cup of oats
1/2 cup low fat milk
2 sugars
1 glass of water
1 cup of tea

Snack:
apple & naartjie
500ml water

Lunch:
1 avo
provitas
1 cup of tea

Snack:
low fat yoghurt
special K bar
500ml water

Dinner:
dont know yet ...

Tomorrow is D-Day!!!

Kim
xoxoxo

I am ..

2009-07-14T10:52:00.003+02:00

actually getting the hang of this lifestyle change ...
loving the new me
enjoying my food
not a coffeeholic anymore
drinking more tea
still trying to increase my water intake
joining the gym in August ...

I am so proud of myself and cant wait to see how much I weigh on Thursday when I weigh again ...

ok so last night I had only half of my homemade twister/chicken wrap

My menu (Randy is joining in today)

B: 1 cup Allbran flakes and 1 cup lf milk 1 cup tea

S: 1 lf yoghurt

L: 1 homemade chicken wrap/twister

S: 1 naartjie and a handful of peanuts

D: homemade veggie soup with 2 rye bread (Varney is sick and requested soup)

Other: 1lt water/1 energade

Enjoy your day ...

Mwah

Kim

xoxoxoxo

What a weekend ...

2009-07-13T09:52:00.002+02:00

Well, on Saturday we had a funeral ... my mother's sister-in-law ... and after the funeral the family got together at my grandma's house ... we organising a family reunion ... funny how we always do that whenever we had a funeral in the family ... anyhow ... diet-wise all went well on Saturday ... stuck to it, but yesterday is a whole different story ...

back to Saturday, my brother got a call while we were at my granny's to say his GF was in a car accident ... we then had to rush to the scene to check what went on ... luckily nobody got hurt seriously ... she just hurt her leg ... so we went to the police station to report it and then had to wait for them to come to the scene ... poor service I tell u ... and then we took her to the hospital ... we then went home at 7.30pm ... and went straight to bed ...

yesterday morning we got news that Randy's cousin passed on in a car accident on Saturday night ... so we attending another funeral this weekend ... Randy is taking it so hard and shutting me out ... I feel so useless as a wife to him ...

OK here is my menu for today (Randy not on my plan today):

Breakfast:
1 cup wholewheat pronutro
1 cup low fat milk
1 cup black coffee

Snack:
low fat yogurt
peanuts

Lunch:
Fish, baked potato and green salad

Snack:
100g dried fruit
apple

Dinner:
Home-made twister ...

other:
1lt water
rooibos tea

PS: please pray for us during this tough time ...

PPS: thanks Marthie for the tips ... mwah

Kim
xoxoxoxo

here I go again

2009-07-10T15:20:00.003+02:00

I'm thinking of joining the gym ... yip you heard me ... I want to join the gym and start exercising!!!

I have actually been thinking of this for a while now ... ever since Randy joined the gym actually ... but, I don't know where to start ...

the thing is this ... Randy has 4 coupons for a free visit of which I can only use 2 ... so I thought if I continue eating healthy and lose more maybe I can pay a visit in Aug???

I say Aug cause Randy is only going back to the gym in August ... ja, ja ... he hasn't been to the gym since May ... he complains about it being too cold ...

now I did some research as to some of the classes being offered, times, etc. ... and it got me all excited to start going to the gym ... I think what got me even more excited was the fact that they offer preggy classes ... whoop whoop ... which means if I do fall preggo, I wouldn't have to worry about not benefiting from my contract as I will still be able to use my membership ...

but now my mind is made up ... let's say 80% ... but the other 20% ... I'm thinking of the following ...

I don't have proper sneakers. What sneakers should I wear?
I don't have proper gym clothes. What clothes is appropriate?
I don't have a gym bag?
Where do I start?

Pls pls pls ... any advice will be appreciated ...

Kim

xoxoxo

and so my diet continues ...

2009-07-10T09:41:00.002+02:00

despite me having been so sick the last 3 days ... I decided to continue and get used to eating healthy ...

here is my menu for today:

Breakfast:
2 slices brown toast ...
1 cup of coffee
pear

Snack:
apple & handful of peanuts

Lunch:
Grilled chicken with spicy rice

Snack:
3 provitas and low fat cottage cheese

Supper:
Don't know ... but definitely something with avo ...

Water: 1lt
Rooibos: 2 cups
Fruit juice: 250ml ...

craving biltong ... mmmmmm

Enjoy the weekend ladies ... mwah ...

PS: weighed myself again this morning and actually weigh 82kg's ... whoop whoop ...

Kim
xoxoxo

Diet day 4

2009-07-09T12:51:00.002+02:00

I have the worst migraine ever!!! I had this headache since Tuesday and it turned into this horrible migraine. Last night I couldn't even eat and Randy had to force me to take 3 provitas and a glass of milk just so I could drink headache tabs.

I took a warm bath and got into bed at 7pm.

I'm still not feeling well enough to eat so my menu consists of a little ... Randy opted for fast foods ... I weighed myself this morning and weigh 81kg's ... how I lost the 3 kg's in such a short time ... no idea ... think my scale is broken ...

Breakfast:
Two slices of toast
bacon
mushrooms
1 cup black coffee

Snack:
muesli and yogurt

Lunch:
Fruit salad

Snack:
apple

Supper:

maybe provitas ...

1lt water ...

Thanks girls for all the encouragement ... much appreciated!!!

Diet day 3

2009-07-08T12:34:00.003+02:00

Oh what a night! ... at first I was so craving peanut butter and bread with a cup of coffee ... then I drank a glass of low fat milk ... then I craved biscuits ... oh my ... then hubby ate a cheese and polony sandwich ... * naughty naughty hubby*

I didn't sleep well at all ... I couldn't fall asleep and when I finally did I had to visit the loo ... the pillows were so hard ... my neck and back are so sore ... and I didn't even start exercising yet ... :-(

ok ... enough complaining here is today's menu

Breakfast:
1 cup All bran flakes
1 cup low fat milk
2 sugar
1 cup black rooibos tea

Snack:
low fat yogurt

Lunch:
grilled lamb chops with rice and stir fry veggies
1 glass fruit juice

Snack:
apple and pear ... again

Supper:
I don't know yet ... still craving bread so thinking of rye bread and tuna ...

Ps: I'm so bad when it comes to drinking water ... only drink 750ml ... if anyone could give advise ... please?

Diet update

2009-07-07T08:01:00.002+02:00

Well day 1 went very well ... Its not as tough as I thought it would be ...

here is our menu ...

Breakfast:
1/2 cup Jungle Oats
1/2 lowfat milk
1 slice toasted bread

Snack:
low fat yogurt

Lunch:
fish
1 small potato ... made chips in the oven ...
1/2 cup mixed veg

Snack:
Pear and apple

Supper:
chicken
1/2 gem squash
stir fry veg

Enjoy!

Kim
xoxoxo

Back to the drawingboard ...

2009-07-06T12:47:00.002+02:00

So, its back to the chalk board for me with my weight loss plan ...

Just though I might as well get in shape and healthy if I want to fall preggies again ... and YES the doctor even recommended I loose some weight first ...

At least this time around I have a partner joining me ... partner = Randy ... LOL the doctor told him to eat healthy as well ... and to drink less ... whoop whoop to Dr. E!!!

So we started on our healthy eating plan ... and hope to incorporate it into our lifestyle ...

We are also currently on supplements ...

Me: pregnavit, fertipil plus
Randy: spermaid ...

So here is our menu:

Breakfast
1 Bran muffin, black coffee

Snack
Low fat yogurt

Lunch
Mash, mixed veggies and fillet chicken

Snack
Provitas

Supper
Spaghetti bolognaise and green salad ...

Thanks Nix for your ideas ... mwah ...

anyhoo will update on how the diet is going as I currently weigh 84kg and need to weigh 54kg ... but am aiming for at least 60kg

wish me luck ...

Kim
xoxoxo

All that Jazz!!!

2009-07-02T11:05:00.002+02:00

SO, Saturday came and went and I got up over-excited, although my body was not in a mood to go nowhere, and got ready for the reunion. Friday night Randy got me some medicine from the pharmacy (thanks love, mwah!) and I took a good dose of pills and syrups and medlemon and went to bed.

Slept like a baby ... although my nose and ears were blocked ... OK, back to Saturday ...

So I got up, Randy washed the car while I got ready. Varney was lazing around from the one couch to the other, watching movies ... (My gosh, my boy is so big, that he doesn't even care what his mom is up to) ...

I went outside and it was so darn cold and Randy said I should get myself a scarf for my throat. My voice was so hoarse and my mom was teasing me saying that I sound like a Vuvuzela ... LOL ...

Anyhoo, off we went in search of a scarf and we got one after going into 3 shops. So I wrapped the thing around my neck (me is not a scarf person) and I went to drop off Randy at his friend's mom's bday party and went to pick up my school friends ...

To my disappointment Gold Reef City had a power outage and was closed for the day ... my heart was so sore, maybe I was looking out for the day too much ... so we decided to head home ... on our way we decided to rather go to News Cafe ... only 5 of us agreed ... so we went to grab a meal and a drink and then I went home ...

I still had to go to my friend's braai and was only there for 10 minutes ... sorry Taya!!!

Well Sunday I slept the WHOLE day, cause I was really feeling down in the dumps ... and Monday morning when I got up for work Randy refused to take me to work and rather took me to the doctor ... Myself and Randy were booked off from work for 3 days and today I feel much better ... still getting cold and my throat and ears are still sore ...

Varney was very happy that we were at home and as usual got his way with his 'I want' ... LOL

My friend emailed me this morning cause she got her BFP ... for now I cant disclose who it is as she wants to go for bloods first ... Dear Friend ... God is Great ... I hope this bean or beanS stick .... thinking of you .... mwah

TGIF

2009-06-26T09:16:00.002+02:00

I'm so HAPPY its Friday ... which means 1 more sleep til our reunion ...

I'm so looking forward to it even though I feel so CRAPPY!!!

I also have flu now thanks to my wonderful hubby who sweats so much at night and holds me so close ... ok I want him to still hold me close ... but not sweat me wet ... (huh? does that sound right?) Varney's cold seems to be clearing up (touch wood).

I hope I'm not setting myself up for DISAPPOINTMENT, cause I'm so excited for tomorrow. This weekend is gonna be great, reunion tomorrow morning, visiting D, my friends braai and Sunday chillax!!!!

New Moon is beginning to bore me a bit, must be because Edward left Bella. Ah well, will read it on Sunday, I might just finish the book.

Tonight, I'm gonna doctor myself ... med lemon and Stoney here I come!!!

Enjoy your weekend ...

Kim
xoxoxoxo

Insignificant

2009-06-25T11:07:00.002+02:00

I feel so insignificant today. Am I really so caught up with myself that I don't care about Randy?

Let me tell you why I feel this way.

He is sick, since yesterday. After I keep on telling him that he must dress himself warm. He only wears a jersey, with no T-shirt or vest and a light summer jacket. Last night he had a terrible cough and I offered him medicine, which he refused. About a minute later he drank it. Then I gave him 2 panado's for his headache. He slept well and was sweating the whole night, which I think is good so that he can sweat the flu out.

This morning while we got ready, I made the bed, even though it was his turn, because he looked weak. I offered to rub his chest and back with Vicks and once again he refused. I told him to rather stay home and that I would let his manager know, he refused. I then offered to drive to work and still he refused.

I called him when I was settled at my desk and he told me he ate a yogurt but he feels more sick and weak and his body is so sore and that he vomited (TMI). I then asked him if I should take him home and he said no, because he has alot of work to do and cant complete it tomorrow because he is on training. I didn't know about the training?

His sister emailed me to tell me that I must tell him to phone his father when he leaves work early because they heard he was sick? Now, I'm thinking ... WHEN WOULD HE HAVE TOLD ME HE IS GONNA LEAVE EARLY AND PROBABLY GO AND SIT BY HIS DAD!!!!!!!!!

Am I over-reacting?

Kim
xoxoxo

ME!

2009-06-24T16:04:00.003+02:00

Today's post is all about ME!!!! An update actually ...

Ok lets start (emotions and all that jazz this week):

Excitement
I am very excited for this coming weekend, just 2 more sleeps, then the big day ... our class REUNION!!!! Whoop whoop!!!!

Funny
LOL, I called out this woman whose name is Queenky and actually called Kinky and all the males on our floor LOL at me and said "Kim please leave your bedroom thoughts at home."

Anger
I was angry at DH the other night who took 2 hours to hire 4 movies and ended up having a dop with a friend ... MEN cant live with them, cant kill them ...

Love
Everyday I am dumbstruck at how much love I have ... for EVERYONE ... at first I used to be low on inclusion but since going for me LEAP course I'm climbing up on inclusion ...

Fertility
Well, as you know I'm seeing a homeopath/midwife and she is helping me get my cycles on track and my womb stronger ... well she mentioned that I will fall preggies in Nov 09, so I'm kinda looking forward to and I can say my mind is at peace with this info ...

POA
Seeing homeopath, taking pregnavit and probiflora cause I think I might have a case of Candida so better safe then sorry ...

That is it for now ...

With love
Kim
xoxoxo

Woohoo

2009-06-22T15:04:00.002+02:00

I'm so excited ... just 5 more sleeps then its OUR reunion ...

I can't wait any longer ... to see all my old school mates and catch up ... from the emails that have been going up and down it seems like most of us are married.

I really cant wait and promise to take LOTS of pictures so that I can show you guys.

Just a quick update .... (I must really stop with all these 'quick' updates)

This weekend was fab, although I forgot it was Father's day and had to dash from shop-to-shop on Saturday trying to find Randy the PERFECT gift. Varney had made him two cards so we were actually just looking for a gift, BUT could not find one.

So when we got home I asked him what he would like as we had no gift for him and he said he wants a bottle of Hennessey (sp) which me and Varney bought and wrapped for him - LOL, I know he already knew what his gift was going to be.

Needless to say we spent the day indoors. Randy had a stomach bug and didn't even want to eat, but when I took his favourite dessert from the fridge he could not resist.

Happy Monday Folks!!!!

Tired of this!!!!!!!

2009-06-19T12:58:00.001+02:00

Today is one of those days that comes every month just before we get paid where I dont like my husband!!!!!!!

He is driving me up the wall!!!!

We just cant seem to budget together....

Decisions ...

2009-06-17T14:39:00.003+02:00

man living your life is SO tough ...

I cant decide what to do next ... I mean I have got alot that I want to do, but I just don't know where to start ...

This whole crap saying of taking as it comes is such a big fat lie ... if life was that easy this world would have been PERFECT!!!!

I know I want to live a happy fulfilled life, but I just don't know where to start and where to stop.

hopefully I will see the light at the end of the tunnel .... SOON!

PS: thanks Nix for your help with D's blog

I'm back ...

2009-06-15T12:02:00.000+02:00

from training and VERY thankful that I went on it ... the course I went on was an eye opener and really made me think ...

I learned so much and never in my life cried so much ... it was a leadership course but more on being the leader of your life ... there were so many underlying events that I was bottling up and hid away from people, but this course made me open up and deal with it ...

I have asked Randy to go on this course as well ... so that he can understand where I'm coming from ...

here are our updates:

Me:

Happy and chirpy ... LOL and I have finally taken the BIG step ... on hormone therapy ... will see how it goes

Randy:

Happy ... thinks I'm going crazy cause all of a sudden I'm so peaceful and happy ... LOL

Varney:

Happy ... he is at home cause the teachers decided to strike ... damn teachers ... but he is happy he still has a runny nose, but other than that he is doing just fine ... I have decided to dedicate a blog to him to journalise his life ... so feel free to pop over ...

It's the weekend baby!!!!!!!

2009-06-05T12:52:00.003+02:00

So it's FINALLY weekend. Time to unwind and relax!!!!!

This weekend is not going to be too busy. Tonight Randy's going to the gym, while I sneak off to a herbalist/midwife.

I'm going to get something from her to regulate AF. This darn AF shows up whenever she feels like it and just when I think she'll stay away she comes visiting.

Randy knows in a way that I'm going, but he thinks its to take my friend. So in part I'm telling the truth, cause my friend really is going to go see her and I'm telling a white lie as I'm going for myself. LOL!

OK, then I'm going to drop the movies we hired off and then spend some time with the 2 men in my life.

Tomorrow, I don't know what we've got planned, but I hope its fun and exciting.

Oh before I forget I still have to go see my class of 2003, as they organising a reunion. I'm so looking forward to seeing all of them again. Finding out who is married, who got kiddies or buns in the oven ... It will be super!!!

PS: before I forget, I'm on training next week so I'll post on 15 June again ... that's if I'm not too busy ...

Enjoy your weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love

Kim

Grilling Goodness

2009-06-05T12:41:00.002+02:00

Hi there people of Blogland. Feel free to copy onto your blog.

1. Do you like a scent that others might find strange?

I like the smell of petrol when filling my car with it. I dont know why I love this smell ... I just like it.

2. Are you a pack rat or do you purge regularly?

I hate to admit it but I am a pack rat ... I clutter and 'save' too many old things. I have however started getting rid of all my old clothing.

3. What is your favorite thing to do in the summer that keeps you out of the heat?

Sjoe, I believe I dont have any, but if i can avoid going out I stay indoors.

4. What is your favorite number? Why?

It has to be number 8. I dont know why. I think it's got something to do with the month I was born in as well as Varney.

5. What color do you choose most when painting your nails?

pink or clear

6. Have you done anything abnormal this week?

nope.

7. What's the best thing happening this weekend?

I'm going to see a herbalist this afternoon just to get this stupid AF on track ... and I get to spend this weekend with Varney and Randy ... woohoo!!!!

8. Did you have to dissect anything when you were in school?

yip, for biology we had to dissect a frog ... grossssss ...

The day that you were born

2009-06-02T12:49:00.006+02:00

August 4, 2000

It was a great day, not too hot, not too cold. Just warm.

I did not know I was in labour, I thought I had Braxton hicks, as I got a false alarm two weeks before. You still like scaring me like you did the weeks prior to your birth date.

I got up from bed that morning and went to the bathroom to take a relaxing bath. The doctor said that it helps with the contractions. I did not have a sign, but somehow I knew the EDD (estimated due date) on your first scan at 13weeks, was the right one.

After taking the bath I made sure that everything was packed and ready to go. Grandma wanted to make me breakfast but I had no appetite, which was strange as I used to pig out when I was pregnant. (No wonder you weighed 3.5kg's) Instead, I just had a cup of strong black coffee as Ouma R said that it will make the contractions stronger and in no time you would be here.

11.00am

The contractions started getting stronger, but I did not want to go to hospital just yet and I started walking up and down in my bedroom. I was so nervous, but yet so excited that I would soon get to meet you face-to-face and just hold you in my arms and kiss your forehead. I knew deep down inside that I will still get to do it the same day.

1.00pm

I could not stand the pain anymore and decided it was time to go to the hospital. We all jumped into the car and raced off to the hospital. When we got there I was taken straight to the maternity ward. The doctor then came to check how far I had dilated. I was then only 5cm's dilated. The doctor then told the nurse to put the monitor on so that they could check your heartbeat and check my contractions. I laying there on the bed for about 1/2hour then I decided I am going to start walking up and down to bring the contractions on.

The pain was starting to get more serious and eina when I went to the toilet and saw that my mucus plug had come down. I was excited as I knew time was drawing near. Grandma watched me nervously as I walked up and down.

3.30pm

The doctor came to check on us again and was very angry at mommy for taking the monitor off. By then I was 8cm's dilated. I just looked at him while he was shouting at me and up until today I still don't know what he shouted at me. I decided to lay on the bed and be a good girl, when all of a sudden I found the urge to pee. I got up and off the bed when Grandma also told me to lay down, that's when my water broke. Gushing down my legs. I decided to make a run for it and ran to the loo, but the water wouldn't stop. When it finally did (or when I thought it had) I got up and walked back to the ward while it was still running down my legs.

At that time I didn't care anymore as I was so tired and in pain. I got back to the room and got onto the bed again. The contractions were so close to each other. I felt like crying, but knew it will be worth it in the end.

4.00pm

Grandma went looking for the doc when a nurse came by to check if I was ready for labour and when she looked she saw I was 10cm's dilated. She rushed me to the labour ward and called the doctor, who came running in with Grandma.

He calmed me down and told me to lay on my back and put my hands under my thighs and push when I feel the need to. Which I did not even waiting for him to finish speaking. In three pushes you were out and I heard you crying, while the nurse calmed you down. They then handed you to Grandma who handed you to me and I can remember the joy and love I felt. I cried just looking at you and kissed you forehead, while the doctor was stitching me up.

They then took you to go and wash you and mommy got to wash as well.

They wheeled me to our room. Unfortunately we were 6 mommy's in the room. They told me to sleep a little and to eat so that when u came to visit me I could breastfeed.

I still remember it like yesterday, when I was sleeping and just heard a feint cry that grew harder and harder. I still said to myself poor baby, when the nurse walked in holding you and you were the one screaming the roof off. You were so hungry and could not wait to latch unto my nipples. I fed you and watched you fall asleep. I burped you, just before the nurse came back to fetch you.

I was so overwhelmed with joy that night that I could not sleep at all. I couldn't wait for them to bring you to me again....

My darling son I love you and always will ...

Miracle by Celine Dion

You're my life's one Miracle,

Everything I've done that's good

And you break my heart with tenderness,

And I confess it's true

I never knew a love like this till you....

You're the reason I was born

Now I finally know for sure

And I'm overwhelmed with happiness

So blessed to hold you close

The one that I love most

With all the future has so much for you in store

Who could ever love you more?

The nearest thing to heaven,

You're my angel from above

Only God creates such perfect looooove

When you smile at me, I cry

And to save your life I'll die

With a romance that is pure heart,

You are my dearest part

Whatever it requires,

I live for your desires

Forget my own, needs will come before

Who could ever love you more?

Well there is nothing you could ever do,

To make me stop, loving you

And every breath I take,

Is always for your sake

You sleep inside my dreams and know for sure

Who could ever love you more?

This song explains exactly how I feel about you.

MOMMY LOVES YOU MORE THEN ALL THE RAINDROPS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!!!!

The weekend

2009-06-01T13:09:00.002+02:00

Well our weekend was great... although Varney is sick with flu.

So on Friday, I got home and spent some time with him. Nursing him and attending to his every need. We spent the night watching movies while he slept with his head on my thighs, as he did not want to fall asleep in his bedroom alone. When he finally slept I took him to his bed.

On Saturday morning we got up early and I phoned my friend (whose DH is a pharmacist) to get some medication for Varney. I then went to the pharmacy to get it and when I got home he was asleep again. So I finished cleaning (Mom was at a funeral) and Randy went shopping for veggies and then I got into bed again next to Varney.

What a mission it was to get him to eat so that I could give him medicine and when he didn't want food I gave him a yogi-sip and some juice, just so that he had something in his tummy. After his fever broke he was up and wanted to play playstation. Now because he is doing a bit bad at school, we don't actually want him concentrating on playstation too much. So DH's heart was breaking for his little man feeling so feint that he broke in and said yes he can play playstation.

We had a potjie planned for Saturday and wanted to cancel but decided to continue, so I was busy cleaning the veggies, while DH started the fire and Varney played playstation.

Saturday afternoon I decided to wash Varney so that he could put on clean PJ's and that I can rub his body with Puma Balm. He started crying and I could see that he was not feeling well at all. DH calmed him down and then carried him to the lounge so that he could lay on the couch and watch movies. Our guests arrived, but all my attention was with him so I was inside while everyone was laughing and enjoying each other's company outside.

Me and Varney went to bed at 8ish....

On Sunday we spent the day watching movies again and Varney looked much better, although I decided to keep him home today as it is so cold and I don't want his flu to get worse. Luckily my friend brought me some antibiotics for him.

OK that is our update for this past weekend ...

PS: join me tomorrow as I post one of my 'Blast from the Past'

Grilling Goodness

2009-05-29T13:40:00.003+02:00

It's that time again. Feel free to copy onto your blog. It will be interesting reading yours!!!

1. If you had 10 hours at home alone, what would you do?

First of all, I would relax in a warm bubble bath, then I will fix me something to eat and then I will read a nice book and then take a nap. (I hope this 10hours does not include cleaning the house - LOL)

2. Do you have a fond memory of your dad?

Unfortunately, cause I'm such a great person, not ... LOL

3. Do you prefer the pool or the beach?

beach ...

4. What's the furthest you've driven for one day of fun?

probably to Pretoria for the Spring Jazz festival

5. Solid, clear solid, clear gel or aerosol? Deodorant of choice, that is.

definitely clear solid ...

6. Do you tan or burn/peel?

none ... don't like sitting in the sun at all ...

7. What's your favorite pasta-based meal?

lasagne and the Sicilian chicken bake ... yum-yum

8. Do you wax or pluck your eyebrows?

wax ...

enjoy the weekend!!!!!!

Lotsa love
Kim

Guilty conscience or guilt trip?????

2009-05-28T12:16:00.003+02:00

I have not been dieting or rather eating healthy and exercising for at least 3 months now...

Randy on the other hand has joined the gym and goes at least 3 times per week.

Somehow this whole get into shape and healthy thing has come back to haunt me ... I feel so guilty when we get home he drops his things, gets undressed, puts on his sweat pants, a t-shirt and sneakers and kisses me on the cheek and off he goes to gym ...

At first I looked at it and thought it at least gives me time to read, scrap, spend time with Varney helping him with his schoolwork ... But I feel so guilty ...

I don't think the exercising part makes me feel more guilty then the healthy eating part does. We have lunch together most of the times and I have to admit that I am the bad influence on him.

This what we eat:

Breakfast: a muffin and coffee or toasted sandwich and coffee or a full breakfast ...
Snack: sweets/crisps/choccies/yogurt
Lunch: burger and chips/stir fry/fish and chips/MacDonald's with a soft drink
Snack: sweets/crisps/choccies

My problem is not breakfast or supper ... I think its the food we eat in-between.

Randall has gone all health-conscious and it is driving me up the wall. It's winter and I crave all sorts of unhealthy foods and am too scared to tell him I want to eat this or that.

Yesterday was even worse when he announced, after an unhealthy bacon and cheese burger, that he wants to eat boiled veggies and protein more ...

Can someone help me out with a meal plan that is at least edible ... LOL

Hate my father!

2009-05-26T14:02:00.002+02:00

Today is one of those days when I absolutely hate my sperm donor.

Yes, I'm referring to him as merely a sperm donor cause according to me that is all he was and is in my life. He left my mom when I was 10days old and finally divorced her when I was turning two ... so guys I hope you understand ...

Anyways, my reason for feeling this way is because he made a commitment to my mother when he married her... The same vows he made to his new wife ... STEPMOTHER from HELL!!!

Here he is taking care of her, her children (yes, they not my dad's) and her grandchildren and when I look at my mom I just think that my father should have been taking care of her. Especially now that she has aged.

Don't get me wrong, I love my mom ALOT and I'd do anything for her. But sometimes it just gets too much!

We gave up our place we were renting and moved back to her to help her financially as she is unemployed. She lived in the cottage and then my sister was in trouble financially. She lost her house and we then decided that it would be best for her to move into the cottage with her kids until she is financial stable.

Now me, Randy, Varney and mom is living in the house. Space is not a problem at it is a 3bed house, lounge, kitchen and bathroom.

My problem is this ... I take care of the grocery which includes meat, etc., I pay the W&L, I pay the phone bill, I see to bread and milk daily, I see to the week's veggies, I see to every little thing that runs short and my mother gets an allowance from us and she draws a pension. But still she threw a tantrum of not having money last night.

She has 3 other children that don't give a f*ck whether she eats or is clean. I mean really now WTF!!!!

How can they be so selfish ...

I don't want this to drive a wedge between me and Randy, because I might be old school or something, but I just feel guilty when we do stuff for my mother and not worry about his parents!!!

Guys ... I need advise please ... how do I handle this situation ...

How I met Randall ...

2009-05-25T14:36:00.002+02:00

ok so here goes ... the novel ... LOL ...

Back to the future …

We’ve known each other since school days … since 1998 to be exact. But, none of us bothered to talk to each other. Although he says I used to ignore him when I used to walk past him and he used to greet me. (I don’t recall this info, although my friend says its true – LOL.)

Anyways in 2003, I started noticing the dude, but I thought he was gay. My reason for these thoughts: I always used to see him with girls and therefore my conclusion based on this was that he was so GAY!!!!

Well October 2003 was our matric dance and that was the first time I greeted him. We were on our way home from our after party and I hitched a ride with him and his friends. They dropped me off at home safe and sound. Then somehow it all went back to the no ‘hello’ situation again.

Late 2004, his friend and my friend started dating. Though me and my friend always used to visit him and his friend and vice versa we never said one word to each other.

The following year, 2005, he started working for the same company as me and we always used to pass each other but still never said a word to each other. I don’t know if we were just too shy to talk to each other or was it the whole him being English speaking and me being Afrikaans speaking.

This one day in October of 2005, his BIL, whom also happened to work for the same company, approached me asking me if I had space in my car because Randall and a friend needed transport. Of course there was only space for on but one of the guys travelling with me was going to finish end of October. He then asked me to let him know as soon as there was space.

In November, myself and my work friend Octavia then approached Randall and his friend to travel with us. We then started chatting every morning and afternoon while Octavia and Kyle used to sleep in the car. That is where our friendship started. Giving each other advice on relationships, chatting about anything, teasing each other, laughing at silly thing and jokes. But, for me it was only ‘friendship’, as I was in, what I thought was, a committed relationship. (Completely different topic – will post at a later stage.) For him, as he says, was love at first sight. For me not...

December 31, 2005. We hung out after work. Me, him, Octavia, Kyle and a few of his other friends. I had just broken up with my ex, but I did not tell Randall about it. After all, it was New Years Eve and time to party. He called me one side and I could see he wanted to tell me or ask me something, when we got interrupted by his one friend. I could see he was pissed at his friend and probably thought ‘good timing, bro’, but instead he said something along the line of ‘dude can’t you see I’m chatting with my girlfriend’. At that time my phone rang and I could not reply to what he had just said and besides I thought he was just saying that so that nobody else could bother me.

The phone call was from my mom that needed to go somewhere. So, I pretended that I did not hear him saying that, because at the time he was in a relationship as well, and said goodbye to everyone and got ready to leave.

Of course we only saw each other after the holidays …

So during that time I made up with my ex, even though we still used to travel together no other conversation was made between us except hello’s and goodbye’s.

Our department relocated to a new office block and there after I lost all contact with him. One cold day in June I drove past him and when I looked into the rear view mirror he was waving me to stop, but I continued on my journey. At that time he had broken up with his ex, as I was told by Octavia who still had contact with him as him and her hubby became friends.

In August 2006 I finally decided that it was time to turn a new page in my life and I dumped my ex yet again! At that time, Randall was made permanent and got e-mail functionality and maybe thought he would break the ice by mailing me. I was shocked to see his email pop up and to learn that he was made permanent and that he had recently bought himself a car. He also told me about his ex and that they had broken up. Of course I just acted as a good friend and read and replied to his emails.

During that time Octavia's department also relocated to our new office park and we once again travelled together. During the course of that week I met him at her house while dropping her off after work. (I still think this was a set-up!) We spoke to each other and exchanged telephone numbers as he still had my old number and I had changed my number not to be stalked by the ex.

A week after his birthday in October the cute lovey-dovey sms’ and emails started pouring in. At first, I did not want to reply as I did not want to be seriously involved again. But something in me said otherwise….

On November 1 he asked me if we could hang out, but I told him my schedule was full, I lied of course … LOL, but I told him we could hang out the following day.

November 2 2006, that night he confessed all his feelings to me. How he fell inlove with me when we were still at school. How he was afraid that I might reject him. How, if we were dating that time already, happy we would have been. How he dreams about me and wants to be with me. This of course made me melt as I have never experienced this. A man laying out all his cards on the table and not knowing if he does have a future with me. A man who was not shy or embarrassed to open up to me in a way that he did. It was soo different, but yet so scary …

I was speechless and all I could say was we have to take things slow. I was scared of opening my heart to someone again. I was scared to get to know someone again and at the end of the day that person still chooses someone else over you…

We started dating … and today we are married …

PS: now I'm challenging all of you to post about the first time he said I love you ... LOL

Things I have done ...

2009-05-22T10:38:00.003+02:00

This is a list of possible things you've done in your life...bold the ones you've actually done.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Been on a roller coaster
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of Table Mountain
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow man
25. Visited the Union Buildings
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Scored a goal
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited America
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in movie
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Given flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the sea
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Cried until your tears dried up
101. Rode in a race car
102. Drove a race car
103. Cried when u were happy or received good news
104. Made prank calls
105. Gone to the moon
106. Got your heart broken
107. Broken someone else’s heart
108. Been to Mauritius
109. Watched the clouds flow by
110. Wished you were in someone else’s shoes
111. Had your ears pierced
112. Got a tattoo
113. Lied to a loved one
114. Bunked school/class
115. Smoked a cigarette
116. Consumed alcohol
117. Stolen something from a friend
118. Stolen something from a restaurant/hotel
119. Laughed until your tummy ached
120. Choked in a restaurant
121. Danced/sang in front of a mirror
122. Been to the zoo
123. Touched/held a snake
124. Own a pet
125. Visited India
126. Visited Dubai
127. Been to the pyramids in Egypt
128. Been at a stay awake
129. Been lost
130. Been to a circus

I'm tagging all those who read my blog ....

Dear blog ...

2009-05-21T14:33:00.002+02:00

Why are you so quiet lately?

You don't have any visitors or posts. You seem to be like a forgotten diary of a young girl who is now to in love with something else. Your pages are aching to be typed on, but yet I cant seem to find the words to fill it with.

If typing was a pen, I'm sure you would have been full of scribbles. But, instead you are blank.

Promises I broke when I said I would post something everyday. Please believe me when I say, I try to, although I cant find the words to say ...

I made a commitment to you when I created you. But, still I fail dismally in maintaining you.

I will not make any promises or commitments no more. But I will try to visit and post more often.

I suck at blogging, but give me time to improve on my hidden talent.

I hope you can forgive me ...

Until I post again!

With love
Kim
xoxoxo

We are ...

2009-05-20T11:20:00.002+02:00

* all still alive and fine ..
* Randy is still going to gym regularly ...
* I am still contemplating going with him ...
* Varney's reading has improved drastically and yes he is no longer in an Afrikaans reader but in the book he should be
* His self-confidence I'd say is 6/10 which is good ...
* My car is still broken, but will be fixed this weekend ...
* The budgeting together thing is not going well at all ... I guess we should leave it as is and each of us should still stick to his/her responsibilities ..

Well that is it ... I think ...

Enjoy the day ...

Love
Kim

Grilling Goodness

2009-05-18T11:48:00.003+02:00

1. Where do your shoes 'live'?

I have to admit and say my shoes live in a basket. Yip even the 'new' ones or the pretty ones. I just cant seem to take care of my shoes.

2. When it's 'clean house' day, where do you start?

In our bedroom. I cant start cleaning the rest of the house if the bed has not been made.

3. What instrument would you like to learn to play?

The piano. When I was little I used to love visiting my aunt so that I can play 'Twinkle, little star' that my cousin taught me to play. And one Christmas I got a keyboard from my aunt for a Christmas gift.

4. How is your mood when you're tired? Hungry? Ill?

Tired: irritable, hungry: cant think, Ill: crappy, bitchy

5. If you could change a decision you made this week, what would it be?

Nothing ... all conclusions or resolutions are the right ones.

6. Have you ever used public transportation regularly?

Yes, when I just started working I had to take a taxi into town and then a bus to work. Those were the good old days...

7. What are you thankful for this week?

I'm thankful that I can experience the warmth and love of family and friends. I am thankful that all our needs are met, we have food to eat, clothes on our back, a job, petrol to get to work ... I'm truly thankful for it all. Thank you God!

8. What do you need to do more often?

I need to love more freely. I need to make more time for myself, my child and my family. I really need to stop and smell the roses.

10 Commandments for good parenting

2009-05-18T10:57:00.002+02:00

1. What you do matters.
“Tell yourself that every day. How you treat and respond to your child should come from a knowledgeable, deliberate sense of what you want to accomplish. Always ask yourself: What effect will my decision have on my child?”

2. You cannot be too loving.
“When it comes to genuine expressions of warmth and affection, you cannot love your child too much. It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love. What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love—things like leniency, lowered expectations or material possessions.”

3. Be involved in your child’s life.
"Being an involved parent takes time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs you to do. Be there mentally as well as physically.”

4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child.
“Make sure your parenting keeps pace with your child’s development. You may wish you could slow down or freeze-frame your child’s life, but this is the last thing he wants. You may be fighting getting older, but all he wants is to grow up. The same drive for independence that is making your three-year-old say ‘no’ all the time is what’s motivating him to be toilet trained. The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also is making her argumentative at the dinner table.”

5. Establish and set rules.
“If you don’t manage your child’s behavior when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older and you aren’t around. Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing? The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules he applies to himself.”

6. Foster your child’s independence.
“Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, she’s going to need both. Accepting that it is normal for children to push for autonomy is absolutely key to effective parenting. Many parents mistakenly equate their child’s independence with rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel controlled by someone else.”

7. Be consistent.
“If your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion, or if you enforce them only intermittently, your child’s misbehavior is your fault, not his. Your most important disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your non-negotiables. The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it.”

8. Avoid harsh discipline.
“Of all the forms of punishment that parents use, the one with the worst side effects is physical punishment. Children who are spanked, hit or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children. They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others.”

9. Explain your rules and decisions.
“Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to. Generally, parents overexplain to young children and underexplain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. He doesn’t have the priorities, judgment or experience that you have.”

10. Treat your child with respect.
“The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully. You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for her relationships with others.”

There is no guarantee that following these guidelines will result in perfect parents... remember, there is no such thing!

The secret

2009-05-15T13:09:00.003+02:00

I want to buy myself this book by Christian D Larson.

Actually, I'm going to.

I love this part that I got in an email...

I promise myself

To be strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.

To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.

To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticise others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

Christian D. Larson

and the reading ......

2009-05-15T13:05:00.002+02:00

*drum roll*

went great ... besides the fact that his teacher gave him an Afrikaans reader. Now I don't have a problem with Afrikaans, BUT he is in an English class. He does understand Afrikaans. He can speak Afrikaans and YES he can read it.

My concern is: isn't this going to make him confuse his words more then he already is doing?

I'm so concerned about this, because all the books we buy for him is in English. We talk to him in English, but his friends talk to him in Afrikaans.

Sjoe, I'm so confused. I'm thinking of writing that teacher a letter or better yet setting up an appointment to go and see her.

So proud of my boy!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-14T14:39:00.002+02:00

He has finally been given a new reader at school and he is so excited and wants to read to me tonight. Wow!

My prayers are being answered.... Thank God!!!!!

Now for that teacher of his that told me if he doesn't concentrate on his reading she will fail him this year. This is for you:

Ages 6 to 9

Learning to read:

When children start school they are usually excited about learning to read and can't wait to read stories for themselves. Often, though, they are disappointed because reading turns out to be more difficult then they expected. Many children, even very clever ones, take quite a long time to learn to read. Also, the books they learn to read at first are not nearly as interesting as the stories you have been reading.

What can you do?

The golden rule is not to make an issue of children's difficulties with reading. The last thing they need is to be made to feel anxious; what they do need is encouragement and praise. Pressure to succeed may just confirm for them that reading is difficult and unpleasant. The whole idea of books and reading may become a nightmare - an attitude which can remain with them for life.
Practise with your child by all means, but practise only with homework reading, not when you are reading to him for pleasure. Read aloud with your child, occasionally pointing to the words, until he or she feels able to continue alone. If he begins to struggle, join in again immediately in a supportive way. This helps to build confidence and establish a fluent pace. It also helps the child to understand the sense of the story, which is what will capture his interest and inspire him to persevere.

Reading aloud

There are two levels of reading: the level the child can manage on her own, and the level she can understand but cannot read by herself. Don't worry if the level she can manage on her own is lower than you would like. Continue to read aloud to her, choosing stories she enjoys but which are too difficult for her to read on her own. The more a child enjoys listening, the more likely he is to want to learn to read at the level by himself. The Winnie the Pooh stories (A.A. Milne), Thomas the Tank Engine stories (Rev. Awdry), the Just So stories (Rudyard Kipling), and Alice in Wonderland and Alice through the Looking Glass (Lewis Carroll) make ideal choices for reading aloud.

First Readers

A reading series is often a good introduction to story books which can be tackled independently. In a series, the language and vocabulary are kept at a consistent level, even if the titles are by different authors. For example, the Beginner Books series includes titles by Dr. Seuss, like Hop on Pop and The Cat in the Hat; it also includes titles by other authors like The Best Nest by P.D. Eastman and The Digging-est Dog by Al Perkins.

Young Fluent Readers

At this stage children will start developing their own tastes. You can help them assess whether a book is likely to appeal to them by teaching them to look at the cover, dip into the story, or read the synopsis on the back cover or at the front of the book.
Some children go through phases in which they will read only books on a particular theme or by a particular author, or books which you might not consider worthwhile. Leave them to it. It is the pleasure of reading that you want to encourage. Discrimination can come later. So, if they want to read every single title in the 'Animal Ark' series by Lucy Daniels, or they are hooked on the Famous Five or the Secret Seven series by Enid Blyton, be prepared to take them to the library once a week (they should have their own library cards by now) to show your support.

PS: tomorrow I will update on how the reading went ...

My life is a rollercoaster

2009-05-13T14:56:00.004+02:00

Or at least it feels that way...

All these ups and downs and turn around. Feels like I'm on a rollercoaster going at 240km/h.

I have so many things on my mind.

1. Devandre: okay so most of you know he is not coping at school. I have discovered that his self-confidence is low. He reads to me perfectly as a grade 3 scholar should read, but seems that at school its a whole different story. He sometimes jumbles his words up, but then corrects it. But, honestly and sadly, when it comes to maths he is struggling. I feel so bad about this and sometimes I hate myself for shouting at him. I have made an appointment at and eye specialist, as well as, with our pead. Will update on what they have to say. Okay so that's school. At home, he is a happy child, although he does not have everything his heart desires we try our best to spoil him as to our definition of being spoilt.

2. Work: I cant say I'm unhappy, but then I cant say that I am with my job. It is starting to get too much of a routine and less of a challenge lately and it bores me although it keeps me busy for at least 2/3 of my day.

3. Family: so my family as usual has had a feud and my mother was once again caught in the middle. But, the one thing that pissed me off is that none of my brothers or sister spent Mother's Day with my mom. They didn't even bother to make it special or anything and my brother L did not even call to wish her. So I don't know how she feels in her heart or what's going on in her mind. I'm just happy that me and my family could spend the day with her.

4. My marriage: I don't know why I feel so stressed and anxious about my marriage lately. We not arguing more then we used to, in fact we had our last argument and make-up on Saturday, but somehow my mind is withdrawing from it all?????? Anyways, it might be because our spare time is being utilised by other interests like Randy and his exercising and me and my books. I hope we're not drifting apart. Or it might be this whole budget thing that is making me feel this way, or even the fact that we no longer share interest in making a baby.

5. My health: I think I'm sick or something. I've been having flu like headaches and sore hips since Saturday. I don't know what it might be or how to put my finger on it. I hope I feel better soon.

6. My car: and the state its in (that's all I have to say about it)

7. My friends: seems that now that we have given up trying all these friend preggy bellies are popping out. Once again I received an email from my other friend who actually wanted to take a bet that she would fall pregnant before me. Well she is about 5 weeks pregnant. That, now makes it 4 friends who are expecting. Though it hurts and I want to hide somewhere, I'm happy for her and I know that we (me & DH) made a mutual agreement to stop trying.

PS: sorry for being such a nag I will try to post something more cheerful in a few days time and hopefully some resolutions to all my problems.

Love ya
Kim

As promised ...

2009-05-08T07:58:00.006+02:00

Well, I promised that I would post some of my scrapbook projects so here goes ...

My mommy ... I was just starting out with those whole scrapbook thing (sorry for the blur)

Myself, DH and my son ....

Me and DH ... once again sorry for the blur

Myself and DH

PS: I will post some more on Monday of the ones my son did ....

This is what life is all about ...

2009-05-07T15:41:00.003+02:00

Lately I have been so consumed with TTC that I actually forgot what life was all about ... My life revolved around TTC...

My friends: were not friends anymore but turned into my enemies, because I was just too jealous to face that they can fall pregnant by 'mistake', but we were struggling so long ...

My family: was, as I would say it, 'in my business', because they kept on asking why I'm not pregnant yet and all along this was only out of concern ...

My colleagues: I used to shut out every time I saw a preggy belly or when the girls on the floor would plan someone's babyshower ...

My husband: I used to get so angry with when he wasn't into or didn't feel like BDing, when he was tired, especially over my FERTILE period ... I used to throw tantrums and accuse him of all sorts of things ... YES I was a BITCH and I feel bad ...

My son: I think, no I know I neglected him, that is why he asked me "If you have a baby are you still going to buy me toys or is she going to get more things than me?" BAD BAD mom ...

I was jealous and selfish to be sooo self-absorbed in my own little battle that I neglected the people who cared about and loved me for me ... I therefore ask forgiveness from them ...

I ask them to forgive me for everything I have done, not done, said or not said that made them feel bad about who they are and what role they play in my life. I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart.

Now that I have that out of the way ...

Life is all about ...

Loving:

Love yourself: I have been making time for myself lately. Just to reflect on what I have, what I've lost, what I will love to achieve. I have even taken up hobbies, i.e. scrapbooking and reading.
Love your family: in saying this I have and will probably still have lots more family disputes ... (Lets face it , this is what family is all about), but I don't regret any one of them. I have devoted myself as a wife, a mother, a friend, a sister and a daughter to my family. I make an effort of spending quality time with my son, my DH and especially my mother. I have forgiven those who have hurt me.
Love your friends: As you have read above, in this dept I sucked BIG time, but I am making up for it. It used to be so bad at one stage that I would ignore phone calls, sms' and emails from them. That is how selfish I was. Hopefully from now on my friendships will blossom.
Love UNCONDITIONAL and TRULY

Giving:

Give back to those who have given one simple thing to you ... LOVE ... give back unto them not only your family, but your friends. Give a smile to a total stranger ... giving does not always have to be materialistic ... Sometimes a simple email or phone call can brighten someone's day ...

Become a teacher:

Teach the people around you new things ... even if it is things that you yourself have just learnt ... sharing knowledge can be powerful and it brings you just so much close to the receiver ...

Planning:

not for what God has instore, but just planning your life with the one you love can be so exciting ... Dh and me are planning to start our own little business ... and it is so exciting planning something so meaningful with the one you love ...

Forgiving and asking for forgiveness:

Yes this is probably the most difficult thing to do, especially if someone whom you love has hurt you ... but nothing feels more satisfying and 'light' as for you to let go and forgive that person fully or for someone to forgive you ... You may not forget what was done ...

Positive affirmations:

Write down positive affirmations about yourself, your surroundings and those close to you and share them with those you love

last but not least ...

LIVING:

life is all about living as you dont know if you will ever live to see tomorrow as tomorrow is not promised ... Live your life to the fullest ... enjoy and capture every moment especially if you have a small memory like me ..

Sheer Beauty ...

2009-05-07T13:41:00.004+02:00

This is an email I got from my friend Lilian of a view of Tygerberg this morning.

Your Mother

2009-05-07T13:20:00.001+02:00

And so my life goes on ...

2009-05-05T12:56:00.003+02:00

Well as you all were aware that this was my last official 2ww and as you know or can guess that it was yet another BFN! AF came waltzing into my life this morning ... and to top it all of ... my tummy is bloated and this one colleague says congratulations on your pregnancy?

I have to admit that my hopes were high seeing that we used meds this cycle and that I was 4 days late. But, I guess that we were not meant to have a baby right now. Maybe somewhere in our path we will experience the joys of having a baby.

But for now, we need to concentrate on other aspects in our lives, number one being my son.

He is not coping at school and maybe this is God's way of telling us that we need to focus our attention on him and on family before focusing it on our future child.

Well apart from all this TTC frustrations I am feeling sad and angry, but I know that letting go is something I have to do... not just for me and my well-being but for my son and for my DH.

Well maybe we will try again in 2010 ... we'll have to wait and see when we reach the end of this year. So for now I'm no longer TTC but WTC...

take care readers
xoxoxo

Our weekend

2009-05-04T11:23:00.005+02:00

Well our weekend was wonderful. We went to the zoo, despite the weather being so awful and Randy being sick. Well he had flu and seems like I'm getting it as well. He was in bed on Thursday and Friday and Saturday we practically dragged him to go with us.

Well our day at the zoo was cool, but we forgot the camera at home (boo-hoo, I could cry) and had to improvise and use our phones. You will see the pictures are not too clear, but here are a few.

This is my best friend Octavia, her son on her right, my son on her left and her daughter. My son and her son are both named Devandre and are both 8 going on 9. (Weird I know! Can you spot the giraffe in the back?)

Devandre x2 and Lamique with the rhinos in the background.

Well as you can see the pictures are very dark and most of the animals were in their 'cages' because of the cold weather, but we had a great time and the kids loved their day out.

PS: next time I will try and remember the camera.

Grilling Goodness

2009-05-04T11:18:00.002+02:00

1. My ex is...such a distant memory. Glad we not together anymore!
2. I should learn to...be a better student of the World. I'm guilty of being lazy and sometimes blocking new things out … I should also try to be a servant to our God.
3. I love...spending time with my family and friends – the ones that add meaning to my life!
4. People would say that I am...blessed. I have a great marriage and a good life.
5. I don't understand...how people can thrive on other people’s problems and why family or friends sometimes stab each other in the back.
6. When I wake up in the morning…I open one eye and stretch then make my way to the bathroom.
7. I lost... many friends while growing up, but I guess that goes hand-in-hand with growing up, because people grow apart.
8. Life is full of...ups and downs. But it is still worth living.

I'm tagging Eve, Mandri, Rentia, Mandy-Leigh, Marthie, Hope, Lilian, Twinkles, Nats, etc.

Scrapaholic ... who me?

2009-04-30T13:35:00.002+02:00

Yes!!!!!!!

I am a scrapaholic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I admit to it. I was scared of scrapbooking, dont know why I had this dilemma, but since I started I cant stop....

... Not scrapbooking, but shopping for it. I feel so ashamed as I spent R140 this past weekend and today I spent another R115. Yikes!

I can't believe it and here I told myself that I will only spend R100 per month on supplies.

And to top it off I have fallen inlove with reading and I bought me 4 Mills & Boons (so girly) for R50.

I think I should freeze my debit card or not - LOL.

So seeing that I am so fascinated with all the embellishments, stickers, ribbons, etc. I pinky promise that next week I will post a few of my 'projects'.

Take care and those that are like me Happy Scrapping!!!!!

Anxious

2009-04-29T14:15:00.002+02:00

I've been feeling anxious lately. I dont know why, but I have just been feeling anxious and stressed. I have the weirdest feeling in my lower abdomen. It feels like my womd is swollen or something. I have never felt this feeling.

I dont know what's happening to my body or if it might be my mind telling my body to feel this way, because I know that this was our last month trying. Maybe I'm suffering of Psycho-symptom-atic Syndrome* - thanks for this one Mandri.

Just 2 more sleeps to go until AF should arrive. I will be happy if it doesnt and probably sad if it does, but I know I have to put TTC on hold for the sake of my DH well-being, even though everywhere I go there is a Pregsplotion.

PS: thanks Mandri for the newsletter I have learned new words ... LOL

Bible verse and prayer

2009-04-29T14:12:00.001+02:00

Verse: Psalm 62:2

He only is my Rock! I shall not be greatly moved.

- God is the rock on which you can stand.
- This speaks of Permanence, Stability and Divine Protection.
- God wants to be all of this for you.
- BUT He must be your ONLY rock!
- THEN you can be secure no matter what storms may come.

PRAYER: Lord, I declare that You are my ONLY rock. As I trust You I can stand secure. Amen

Grilling Goodness

2009-04-24T11:59:00.002+02:00

Oh Goodness...time for some grillin'!

1. When you were in school, did you study hard or cram the night before?

Depends on the subject, if it was Biology or Economics I studied hard ... the rest I just crammed in the night or hours before ...

2. What can pull you out of a really funky mood?

Pampering myself makes me happy. Running a bubble bath, just relaxing and adding more and more warm water ... that normally does it for me ...

3. Do you keep the invoice after you've paid the bill?

yes ... always ... I have a bag full of till slips

4. Do you have yard sales? Shop at them?

nope never had one or shopped at one

5. When was the last time you rode a rollercoaster?

Never, although I would like to try it

6. Spring cleaning...do you do such things as wash your windows?

yes, I believe in Spring cleaning ... every season or special occasion ...

7. How often do you clean out your refrigerator?

1 every 2 months

8. Have you ever been a victim of identity theft?

no ... and I wouldn't wish that on my enemies ...

Update

2009-04-21T13:59:00.006+02:00

Well once again I have to update all my readers and commentators ...

I have been on leave, as you know, and was supposed to be back on the 15 April, but decided to extend my leave, as I had a few issues to sort out. I came back yesterday, but was flooded with work and still am, but I decided to take a break so that I can update you all, my dear friends.

I had so much fun while on leave, even though we stayed at home. Here is what my diary looked like, just to give you an idea:

Monday, 6 April:

Did some rather overdue spring cleaning and was tired when night came. Also, made some pickled fish to store in the fridge until Good Friday.

Tuesday, 7 April:

Changed all the bedding on the beds and then we were off to the movies. Me and Varney went to watch Monsters VS Aliens. Quite a good movie and we were the only ones in the cinema so we had lotsa fun. We then went shopping afterwards and had something to eat.

Wednesday, 8 April:

we chilled at home and watched some movies, I coloured my hair to red and I washed and blow dried it and then we coloured some Easter colouring pages.

Thursday, 9 April:

I sorted out some few things for the weekend and bought some things we had run out of and then I just relaxed with a Mills & Boons novel, which I finished by Saturday.

Friday, 10 April (Good Friday):

We spent some time with family and had some wonderful fish and mushroom bake.

Saturday, 11 April:

We had a few friends over and just enjoyed each others company.

Sunday, 12 April:

Easter egg hunt for Varney and off to hire some more movies. Did not feel like doing much and felt for no visitors even though we had some uninvited guests, who probably got the drift that we did not want any visitors as they left within 1/2 hour.

Monday, 13 April:

Movies, movies, Easter eggs, movies, Easter eggs.

Tuesday, 14 April:

Getting Varney ready for school, cutting his hair, making sure everything is in his school bag, checking his school clothes, etc.

Wednesday, 15 April - 17 April:

Had a few things to attend to.

Well that's my diary in a nutshell and here is an update on us ...

Varney:

Not coping at school with his reading and numeracy. We have decided that we going to make much more effort on this matter starting with us drawing up a checklist for him and then he has to read 2 pages of his storybook and then we got him some story books and maths books and I am thinking of getting him Bio-Strath. Other then that he is a happy chappy. Schoolwork was not an issue last year or the year before and I'm trying to put a finger on what changed this year. Guess it has something to do with the bullies or the fact that he plays too much play station even though he is limited to weekends only and this has been taken away from him.

Randy:

Well, I thought my husband was coping with the emotions of TTC, after all it was him that wanted us to try again so badly, hence me buying us the Fertile XX and XY. But, when my friend called him last week to tell me that she is pregnant again, with baby no. 3, unplanned, I guess he just couldn't handle it. Well I guess that and 24 months of TTC is enough for him too handle and men cant deal with heartache as much as women can.... which boils down to ...

... Me:

I am in my last official 2WW and if nothing happens this month, we throwing in the towel. I have decided that it wont be fair if I want to keep on trying and DH is just not in the mood to. So we had a talk last night, after he mailed me to tell me how he feels, and we have decided to rather just enjoy each other and have stress-free nookie, rather than timed cycles and having to tell DH "not tonight, cause we had sex last night and we should only have sex every second day". So , maybe and this is a BIG maybe we will try next year again, that is if we feel up to it. But for now, we happy with just having Varney and we taking it one day at a time and for the first time in months I feel stress-free and content with our decision.

After our talk the Fertile XX and XY saw the bottom of the bin and the prenatal vitamins I will give to my friend tonight, when I go to visit her.

Well, I guess that is the end to our TTC journey and an update of my family and my leave.

Until we write again ...

Kim xoxoxo

Grilling Goodness

2009-04-21T13:53:00.002+02:00

Good Day everyone ...

If you would like to do Grilling Goodness, pop over to the site.

1. Do you prefer reality tv or dramas or comedies?

Definitely comedies

2. If you could have free cosmetic surgery, what would you have done?

nothing ... I would change nothing about me ...

3. What are you itching to get but you have 'bitten the bullet'?

a baby ... but we gave up ...

4. Do you have a bad habit that you hope your children don't pick up?

I am very indecisive and short tempered ...

5. What was your favorite meal growing up?

cottage pie ...

6. What meal did you have as a youngster that you don't have as an adult?

2-minute noodles ... LOL

7. What is your earliest memory of a "vacation"? Where'd you go?

Sun City with my father and my stepmom ... those were the days

8. What was the "Best Thing" you ever got for Christmas, before age 12?

a keyboard (piano)

Friday Fever ...

2009-04-03T10:53:00.004+02:00

Good morning

What a BEAUTIFUL day! Probably because I'm going to be on leave next week and be back in the world of blogging on 15 April 2009. I'm going to miss blogging, but am looking forward to spending some time with my son.

We have quite a line-up next week: movies, games, reading, colouring, cleaning etc. and then we have a few DIY projects (me and DH) and I cant wait to finally get into scrapbooking. I'm leaving too many things unattended and this break is just what I need.

Well I was supposed to hook up with some old school friends, but it seems like most of us are too busy being a mommy and a wife, so maybe next time we will hook up.

Then I am happy to announce that AF is here!!!!!!!!!!! Woohoo, I'm so happy cause my cycles are a perfect 28days again, thanks to Fertile XX, which means now the planning actually begins and I am off to Clicks this weekend for some O sticks. I cant wait to start practising - LOL!

Other then that me and my family are doing super. I cant wait for easter weekend as I am planning a hunt for Varney. It's gonna be great!

I hope all my friends enjoy your easter weekend with friends and family. Until we write again...

All my love

Kim a.k.a KP

Grilling Goodness

2009-04-02T16:02:00.002+02:00

I have decided to participate in these questionnaires posted on Golden Goodness or on Nats' blog. Anyone interested can just pop over there.

Here goes:

1. Do you prefer to write with pen or pencil?

Most of the time I write with a pencil, just so much easier to erase any mistakes made.

2. What was off limits to you growing up that you do all the time now?

probably drink cold drink (soft drinks), when we were growing up we had to wait for the adults to finish drinking before we could have some, which seldom happened ...

3. What is the age difference between you and your spouse?

1 year but technically speaking 10 months ...

4. Did you hurt yourself in anyway this week?

nope

5. Do you like wallpaper enough to hang it in your home?

no I would rather paint the walls before resorting to wallpaper

6. What do you need to do that you've been putting off?

ALOT of things. I have not had time to do my hair, some DIY things at home, scrapbooking, make time for my friends ... so I have alot waiting for me.

7. What did you do this week that you wish you hadn't?

nothing

8. Did anything keep you up late this week?

yes, DH watched TV in our room until late on Sunday evening and the heat in the room was unbearable to sleep in

April Fools Day

2009-04-01T09:04:00.004+02:00

I hope everyone out there is having fun pranking people. But, I hope the people being pranked don't take things too seriously. Enjoy being fooled and fooling around.

Dear God

2009-03-31T11:04:00.001+02:00

I want to thank You for what you have already done.
I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards.
I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better.
I'm not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me.
I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears.
I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves.
I am not going to wait until the children are asleep and the house is quiet.
I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job.
I am not going to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief.
I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed.
I am thanking you right now.
I am thanking you because I am alive.
I am thanking you because I made it through the days of difficulties.
I am thanking you because I have walked around the obstacles.
I am thanking you because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better.
I'm thanking you because FATHER, YOU haven't given up on me.

Happy Monday Update

2009-03-30T14:27:00.004+02:00

Yip, it's Monday again. I hope all my fellow bloggers and friends got some rest this weekend? I know I did, even though our weekend was planned to be busy we ended up lazing around.

On Friday, we went home and parked the car and watched some movies, even though we were supposed to go to a friend. On Saturday, same thing, cleaned the house, watched movies and the soccer and a friend of ours came over and yesterday we were at home the whole day as well.

Boring, but rest well needed.

Well on my side my family is doing well ...

Devandre:

Well, he is a hand full, and I'm beginnig to think it might be cause he is an only child. He is very hyper and loves playing and making jokes, but yesterday he was super naughty. He got out of the bath and instead of using toilet paper, he took his towel and blew his nose and laughed at what he had done. I was so mad at him, that I gave him 3 spanks on his bottom and then he cried and ran to his room and got dressed. I let him cry himself out and then he came to me and apologised and then asked for rice crispies and milk. After I made some for him, he wanted me to watch TV with him and we lay on his bed watching TV and he fell asleep.

Randall:

Well he is doing great. Really growing and maturing and I love him more each day. He is still taking his multivitamin and his Fertile XY.

Me:

I'm doing well. Feel much better then I did last week. Although, I think my reproductive system is working overtime, might be due to the Fertile XX I'm taking. My ovaries are twinging and I've got a dull ache in my lower abdomen, but AF should be here by Thursday, so will see what's instore for us.

I just realised last night that we have been TTC for 24 months, 16 months seriously and 12 months post LAP. We have walked a long journey alone, we might need to seek some help.

Take care and enjoy the rest of the week

Kim

Mandy and Eve and the rest

2009-03-27T13:25:00.002+02:00

10 Thing you didn't know about me:

1. I studied Financial Services Advice and dont use my certificate.

2. I have 2 brothers and 1 sister older then me.

3. I had my first drink when I was 13.

4. I had my first smoke when I was 14 and smoked for 2 months before leaving it.

5. I dont like clubbing, but I will go to News Cafe or Cappello's any day.

6. I'm not a reader and normally take a year to read one book. - hehehe

7. I love watching romantic movies and comedies.

8. I used to work as a barwoman for 2 months just after finishing school.

9. I'm very indecisive ... I will decide to do something and change my mind the whole time - I always think of the risks.

10. I LOVE to daydream or night dream ... just before falling asleep, I picture my future in my head.

Happy weekend

2009-03-27T11:40:00.002+02:00

To my sister

2009-03-27T11:36:00.002+02:00

Dear sis,

Today is your day, let no one upset it.

You have been through alot and still you remain strong.

I look up to you and admire you for your strenght and determination.

I thank you for all the advice that you gave me over the years and that you are still giving me.

May God bless you abundantly and I hope you enjoy your day.

Happy Birthday!

Love,

Kim

Time out

2009-03-26T14:04:00.003+02:00

Have you ever felt as if you can just blow a whistle to get some time out? Or that you can crawl into a dark hole and just stay there until you feel like facing life again?

That is how I feel lately. As if I can just make magic and disappear. I know the world does not stand still for my problems, but I believe I have a right to feel this way?

Not that it's the nicest feeling in the world, but life just sucks right now... BIG TIME!

I am waiting impatiently for the light at the end of the tunnel, that's if Eskom doesn't switch it off again - LOL ... ok I made a joke for a change.

I was off sick for 2 days. Doctor tested my thyroid and it came back as clear, so at least I got some GREAT news this week!

Anyways OPM is rocking ... absolutely love it there and its growing ... it my other home ... just wish I could post weekends and at night ... I can log in with my phone, but can't post ...

Thought and prayer for the weekend

2009-03-20T08:48:00.001+02:00

Verse: James 1:12

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.

- Testings and trials are part of life.
- God blesses the people who patiently endure testing.
- To persevere means to stand firm and patiently endure.
- The tests and the trials will pass and God will reward you.

PRAYER: Lord, help me in the tests and trials that I am facing. Help me to persevere and pass the test. Amen.

Have a great weekend!

My thougths

2009-03-19T10:56:00.002+02:00

As I lay on my bed last night, I try and relax my body. Moving down from my head, to my shoulders, to my hips, than my thighs, than my feet. Trying to relax each body part, each muscle slowly. Relaxing...

I try and try to think about the positives in my life. About all I have - my family, my friends, my son, my marriage, my job, my car, the roof over my head, the clothes on my back, the food on my table and everything I have achieved.

But still, still 'evil' thoughts start taking over my unrelaxed mind. Thoughts of envy, thoughts of hatred, thoughts of loneliness.

I think of my life and it somehow feels disorientated. Out of sync. I feel lonely and scared. Fear takes over my body as sweat rushes down. I fear not being able to conceive ever again. I fear losing my son or my husband. I fear losing my job. I fear it all.

I know I'm not supposed to feel this way, but I do. Worst of all I wanna really try my best and my all to conceive. I feel I have not tried everything in my grasp. I'm ovulating as we speak, but I'm so scared that I will not conceive this month. I so want to have a baby now. I'm more then ready. Somehow I think this will fulfill my life: to make my husband a father. Not that he isn't a father already. He is a great dad for D. But for him to have his own blood running through his child's veins. I sometimes pray to God, to let me conceive even if I loose the baby at least I know I can conceive again and then find answers to why I am loosing. But, the other times, when I share the heartache and tears of my friends that have lost I pray to God to not put me through the loss of a baby or child ever.

I remember one night when me and R were laying and speaking. Speaking about how long we knew each other yet it took us so long to realise we were meant to be together. And what he mentioned had me thinking. Why did we waste so much time? Why didnt we start dating way back then, then Varney would have been his biological son. But then I thought further if it were to happen back then we would have not been together today. So I'd rather have waited so long, until we were both matured to be in a marriage and to give Varney the best.

I'm so scared he will get to miss out on a chance of really becoming a daddy. Because everyone around me seems to be falling preggies, like my friend at work (we started trying together in Dec 07) fell preggies last year Nov, but had a miscarriage in Dec. Now 3 months down the line she is preggies again. I am happy for her, but a part of me wishes it was me instead.

Will I ever get a chance again?

unanswered questions or me being ungrateful???????????

2009-03-16T14:31:00.004+02:00

how do you let go, when u holding on so tight?

how do you relax, when things are just not going right?

will I ever get a chance to conceive the love of my life's child?

or will I see just one line after months of trying?

why do people conceive so easily when they are not trying? and when you ask them how it happened they'll be like 'it was an oops!'?

will I continue to break down and cry? to let my heart be ripped from my chest?

will I have the fear of my best friend conceiving before me?

Jealousy? Jealousy you may say ... NO, its not me being jealous its me wanting it so bad for myself? Why cant I put myself first for a change? Is it then so wrong to want the good things in life?

Is it so wrong to want to make my husband proud? It is too much to ask? For him to be able to see the blotch on the screen? To hear the first heartbeat at 8 weeks? To hold back my hair or rub my back when morning sickness hits me? To be nervous for the 13 weeks scan? to find out the sex at 18 weeks? To go on a baby shopping spree? To feel the first kick at 20 weeks? And to see his baby growing with every visit or scan? To finally go into labour as he runs around stressing and not being sure if he is excited or scared? And then to finally get to hold his baby for the first time as he looks into his/her eyes?

Now tell me how do you put on a smile in the morning and go out and face the world? Face all the questions everyone has around your bedroom life? Face the people staring at your tummy? How do you do it?

Every month I tell myself I am not going to think of making babies. But I'm lying to myself and to the world cause I do think of babies. I might not think out loud, but I want a baby so bad.

I cant take this anymore ... Seriously I cant ... If someone out there knows the secret of letting go, PLEASE let me know.

Daily thoughts and prayers

2009-03-16T14:03:00.002+02:00

Verse: Psalm 94:18

When I said, my foot is slipping, Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, held me up.

- God can hold you up no matter what you are facing.
- Sometimes it can feel like we are slipping.
- Things can feel as if they are slipping out of our grip.
- Even then God wants to hold you up!

Prayer: Lord, help me when I start slipping and hold me up I pray. Amen.

Verse: Psalm 42:8

Yet day-by-day the Lord also pours out His steadfast love upon me.
- God's love for you is firm and unchanging.
- Every day God wants to pour His love on you.
- Allow Him to pour His love on you.
- There is a fresh supply of God's love for you today!

Prayer: Lord, I receive Your love for me today. Thank You for Your loving-kindness towards me. Amen.

Verse: Ezekiel 34:16

'I will bind up that which was broken and I will strengthen the weak (sick)!' says the Lord God.

- God is able to restore any situation or circumstance.
- God is an expert at taking what is broken and healing it.
- God is able to give strength to those who are weak or sick.
- Give it to God - He can make something beautiful out of it!

Prayer: Lord, I give You the areas of my life that are broken and weak. I ask You to intervene and bring healing and strength. Amen.

Verse: Isaiah 25:4O

Lord, You are a refuge from the storm. You are a shelter from the rain and the heat to the needy in distress. You have been a stronghold!

- Storms are part of life.
- BUT you have a refuge, a shelter and a stronghold.
- If life is battering you, run to your refuge.
- God's arms are always open to receive you!

Prayer: Lord, truly You are my refuge in the storms of life. Be my refuge, my shelter and my stronghold, I pray. Amen.

Verse: Jeremiah 39:18

'For I will surely deliver you, because you have put your trust in Me.' says the Lord.

- Trusting God brings reward.
- Doing our own thing brings problems.
- Because you trust God, you can expect to be delivered.
- Yes, God wants to come through for you!

Prayer: Lord, when all around me are challenges and threats, I will trust in You, knowing that You will deliver me. Amen.

Verse: Nehemiah 2:20

I answered them by saying, 'The God of heaven will give us success. We His servants will start rebuilding.'

- God wants to give you success.
- God does not want to see us fail or fall.
- BUT sometimes we must take that initial step and start.
- As you start rebuilding, expect God to bless what you do and give you success.

Prayer: Lord, help me as I rebuild those areas of my life that need rebuilding and give me success I pray. Amen.

Verse: 1 Corinthians 6:20

For God has bought you with a great price. So use every part of your body to give glory back to God.

- God has paid a great price for each one of us.
- This should affect the way we live our lives.
- The way in which we live should bring glory to God.
- Let everything you do bring glory to God!

DECLARATION: I will live my life in such a way, so as to bring glory to God in all I do!

Verse: Deuteronomy 20:4

The Lord your God is the one who goes WITH YOU to fight FOR YOU against your enemies to give you victory.

- This is an incredible scripture. Think about it.
- God goes WITH YOU to fight FOR YOU!
- When facing a battle it is always more difficult alone.
- With God you are not alone and He will bring you to a place of victory!

PRAYER: Lord, how great it is to know that You go with me to fight for me! Give me the victory I pray. Amen.

What a weekend ...

2009-03-16T12:54:00.004+02:00

We had the most horrible weekend this past weekend. We had a car accident.

An off-duty policeman drove into us on Saturday afternoon on our way home from the shops.
He hit the driver side and back passenger door. Our car got hurt really bad and luckily not one of us got hurt. Varney was not with us. Thank God!

The off-duty cop was drunk and apparently in a hurry. The state has to fix the car, but they take long to pay out. For now we will fix the car and then just claim back from the state.

I really hope this was the end to all our bad luck.

PS: please keep us in your prayers.

Monday:

Weekend!

2009-03-13T13:09:00.001+02:00

Life ...

2009-03-13T10:25:00.001+02:00

Life is a pain ...
Life is unfair ....
Life is a bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why is there so much pain and suffering in the world?

Why conceive only to lose?

My friend just disappeared from work yesterday and this morning she told me she had a miscarriage yesterday.

My friend from OPM is also stressed cause she went to the loo and saw blood.

Why is God doing this to them?

Letter to my son

2009-03-12T15:25:00.004+02:00

Dear Devandre

I am sitting here thinking about you. About the way you laugh when we play, about the way you get so mad when I tease you, about the way you look at me when you sick and the way you admire me for being your mother. About how you always grab Daddy from behind to give him a big hug or the way you always sneak up to tickle me or Daddy.

These are all thoughts that brings tears of joy and a smile to my face. You are a remarkable young boy and as I stare at your picture on my desk next to my PC, I am overwhelmed by how strong you are.

You have been through alot at a mere age of 8. Keeping me on my toes and taking your temperature every 10 minutes when you sick. Feeling sick myself and not being able to concentrate on anything. You've been in and out of hospital since your birth and still you rise. From the sickness, from the pain ... to glory and to fame.

You are my little man and for you I would do anything and everything in my power. You have brought so much joy to my life and you have made Daddy mature into the fine man that he is today. (Though he might not have noticed or might have, but didn't know what to say.)

Its a joy and a privilege having you in my life through the sickness and the health and I will not trade it for anything in the world.

Sometimes you can make me so mad at other times sad, but then I think of what a miracle you are and I am filled with peace and love.

I will always love you and you will always be my little man.

All my love
Mom

For my hubby ...

2009-03-12T15:00:00.002+02:00

Ave Maria by Beyonce

She was lost in so many different ways
Out in the darkness with no guide
I know the cost of a losing hand
There for the Grace of God go I

I found heaven on Earth
You were my last, my first
And then I hear this voice inside
Ave Maria

I've been alone
When I'm surrounded by friends
How could the silence be so loud
But I still go home knowing that I've got you
There's only us when the lights go down

You are my heaven on Earth
You are my hunger, my thirst
I always hear this voice inside
Singing Ave Maria

Sometimes love can come and pass you by
While you're busy making plans
Suddenly hits you and then you realize
It's out of your hands
Baby you got to understand

You are my heaven on earth
You are my last, my first
And then I hear this voice inside
Ave Maria
Ave Maria
Ave Maria

Update

2009-03-10T13:26:00.002+02:00

Well I can happily say that my family is doing great. Except for the 'little' fights now and again everything seems to be ok.

We are looking for places to go on holiday, although it will only be in October with Randy's bday, we want to start planning now already. Especially with the economy looking so gloomy.

This will be our first family holiday and last night when I told Varney he turns and says to me "No, I don't wanna go. You can go on your own. I wanna live with mommy." (Mommy being my mother). Then I explained to him that our holiday is just for a weekend away and that seemed to make him eager to go. So we have decided on going to Koppisol and will be joined by our friends King and Tan and their daughter. So now it's off to planning for me.

So apart from all this hype in our lives there is the meningitis issue in JHB where 4 children have already passed on - RIP. Although I took Varney for a vaccination and trusting in God, I can't help but stress about this. I really hope and pray the government can be more considerate and do something about this. Some info on meningitis:

Signs and symptoms

Meningitis and septicaemia (blood poisoning) are not always easy to recognise, and symptoms can appear in any order. Some may not appear at all. In the early stages, the signs and symptoms can be similar to many other more common illnesses, for example flu.Trust your instincts. If you suspect meningitis or septicaemia, get medical help immediately.Early symptoms can include fever, headache, nausea (feeling sick), vomiting (being sick), and muscle pain, with cold hands and feet.A rash that does not fade under pressure (see ‘The Glass Test’) is a sign of meningococcal septicaemia. This rash may begin as a few small spots anywhere on the body and can spread quickly to look like fresh bruises.
The spots or rash are caused by blood leaking into the tissues under the skin. They are more difficult to see on darker skin, so look on paler areas of the skin and under the eyelids. The spots or rash may fade at first, so keep checking. However, if someone is ill or is obviously getting worse, do not wait for spots or a rash to appear. They may appear late or may not appear at all.

The Glass Test

Spots or a rash will still be seen when the side of a clear drinking glass is pressed firmly against the skin

This past weekend me and Varney started scrapbooking and it was so much fun. We're not done yet, but as soon as we will be I will post some pictures. Scrapbooking really helps one relax.

Apart from that I am happy to announce that I have lost 1kg - Hooray!!!!!

The diet/lifestyle change is still going okay. I have started drinking multivitamins and have gotten Randy to drink some too.

All in all me and my family are doing great.

My handbook for 2009

2009-03-05T14:25:00.002+02:00

These are lovely words to live by!

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2008.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.